Monday, 30 April 2012

If I just sit here looking cute....

...... I may get me some of that! 

Or so says Abi (baba) fluff.

P.S.  Beautiful B is so gonna kill me if she ever sees this is posted on here.

A night to remember

Race Night happened to fall on Hubby's birthday.  So I badgered tons of people to come out with us to celebrate Hubby's birthday and to raise money for our football club at the same time.

We spent a lot; well Hubby did as his birthday funds also funded drinks and our bets for the evening.  Of course, any winnings; both his and mine went into my back pocket.  Yes I know but in my defence I was saving it to ensure he did not spend it and it was returned this morning.

Beautiful B and R came along - to say she is only 17, she is a lightweight when it comes to staying out late; she wanted to go home at 10.30 "because I have work at 5am" - ppfff.  She got in at midnight with the rest of us.

My best friend R and her future Hubby D came along.  We spent the evening taking lots of photos, catching up on gossip and making secret plans.

My brother-in-law Nods (well, technically he is my ex brother in law now but I am over splitting hairs) and his girlfriend A came along to join in the fun. It is so good to be talking now (it took me 2 years to let the past stay where it should) and Nods and I have both missed each other's company tremendously.  I apologise now to A for the photo - she blinked at the wrong time! 

Here's Debs - technically she is was my last boss, as of Thursday she is back to being one of my bosses again but I consider us as friends much more than as work colleagues.

And for the finale: here is a rare photo of the hubby, who thanked me this morning for ensuring that the whole room sang him Happy Birthday....seen as he is very shy and all, I felt it was my duty.

A wonderful evening, with wonderful friends and wonderful company.  So guys, same time, same place on the next Race Night then?

Saturday, 28 April 2012

Today we celebrate

Hubby is 39 today.  Today is the 7th time I have had the privilege of sharing his birthday with him. Today he will snuggle up in bed for longer while I serve him breakfast in bed.  Today he will relax and watch his sport before we go out, spend money on horse racing (even if it is only pretend horse racing) in order to raise money for the football club I am treasurer for and whilst doing that we will spend quality time with wonderful family and friends.

Today I will make sure, as I do every day, that hubby knows how much I adore him, how grateful I am that we found each other, how grateful I am that he is so patient and understanding of all my flaws, confidence issues and hang-ups.  Today Hubby will know that I cannot imagine my life without him.  

Yesterday Hubby took cakes to work for his colleagues - a weird tradition we government staff have; it is your birthday so you provide the cakes.....  Yesterday Hubby would have been more than uncomfortable with the attention he will get from his work colleagues but he will put others before himself for the sake of camaraderie on his team.

Tonight he will be much less than impressed if Beautiful B takes it upon herself to ask the man with the microphone to lead the room in singing him "Happy Birthday" but I would be very surprised if she does not do it. 

Today is the 7th time I have celebrated his birthday with him and it is one of many more to come.  Today I will spend my time repaying Hubby in any small ways I can find, for the happiness he has brought to both my and Beautiful B's lives and for giving my mum and dad a son they can be proud of.  

Today I will thank Hubby for making our house a home and a safe haven.

Happy Birthday Hubby to be.  I promise I won't ever throw you a party, not even next year seen as you will "divorce me" even though we are not married if I dare to do such a thing.

I will always be yours, until the stars fall out of the sky.  You make my life complete, you are the air that I breathe and the love I am surrounded by reminds me of that each and every day.  Thank you for sharing your life with me. 

Friday, 27 April 2012

The day Beautiful B got a proper job

Beautiful B was made to nurse, she was made to care for others more than herself, she was made to be one of the most empathetic people I know, she lives for nursing and she has a new found understanding of loss since her dad and sister passed away earlier this year which she now takes to her job to help others more than she already did.

Beautiful B is about to finish her college years and move on into the big bad world of careers - at a time when the National Health Service is drastically cutting its nursing staff by 40%.  

Beautiful B decided she did not want to go to university to get the degree she needs to be a staff nurse after working in the hospital and seeing how they spend more time on paperwork than on patients - Beautiful B wants to care for people as much as she can and if that means she earns less as a Health Care Assistant then so be it.  

When the opportunity arose she took the initiative and spoke to the ward sister where she is currently working as part of her college course, duly completed an application form and was short-listed for an interview.  She was prepped by her course coordinator who has been astoundingly supportive to Beautiful B in recent months going above and beyond to help us get Beautiful B through some of her worst days of her life.   On the day of her interview a ward sister gave Beautiful B a reference to give the interviewers - if that did not speak of her work ethic and determination nothing would and I was so proud of her for working so hard that her colleagues wanted to help her get the job.

She stressed after the interview because she forgot to mention one thing - one thing! Granted, quite a major thing but taking nerves into account and the fact that what she forgot was part of her daily routine as a nurse I felt they would overlook it. They did!

Less than 2 hours after she interviewed, she got a phone call to offer her the job.  Her course coordinator was told that the chairman of the interview board had wanted her to work on her ward but she couldn't wrangle it - again, more evidence of what I already know.

I am so very proud of Beautiful B, she is her dad's legacy and hubby and I are privileged to have her in our lives and be responsible for helping her along the way.  Her dad will have been smiling down on her and willing her along and I love that she will continue to care for people in her career just as she does as a part of her every day life.  

Beautiful B can work a "normal" week, she can quit McDs and actually have 2 days a week to herself.  This will do so much for her confidence and once at the hospital, when she is ready to earn more money and take the next step up in her career she can do a bursary course to take the degree she doesn't want to do at the moment.  

Today Beautiful B is sad.  She has her bad days but I wonder if today she is sad that she can't share her joy with her dad in person.  That she can't see physically how very proud of her he would be right now.  Today she needs more love than usual. Today she needs to stay busy to avoid being overwhelmed.  Today I wish her dad was here to give her a hug; instead hubby and I will do it for him.

Tuesday, 24 April 2012

Oh the irony

Last night I settled down to watch Obese: A year to save my life USA - yes, I am aware that by now if you have read past posts you are thinking I am kind of obsessed with all sorts of diet programmes.  

Last night was a guy who weighed in at 498 pounds and he was so very unhappy.  What I immediately noticed was what looked like a very painful looking gait when he walked.  Later in the programme a MRI showed that his knee joint was basically bent at a 45 degree angle!  How painful that must be for anyone, let alone a person carrying that much weight. 

Anyhoo, at one stage this man had to walk across a bridge and back (the longest footbridge somewhere); a total of 1.5 miles.  Not far you say - well, not for most of us but bear in mind this man was still 450 lbs, has a knee at 45 degrees and was carrying 50lbs worth of what was his favourite food and drink. 

Whilst he walked another person started heckling him - for being fat.  Now, that is bang out of order for a start but he carried on walking while this other person, and I use that term loosely, continued to call him fat amongst other things. 

Eventually Chris, the trainer, lost it and went over and bawled this man out.  When he returned to his trainee a comment was made that he was quite rough on him but it was appreciated as no-one had ever stood up for this poor man before.

What I found ironic was that the guy heckling was a homeless person, pushing a trolley across this bridge.  Now I get that there are all sorts of reasons that people become homeless and he shouldn't be mocked for that but in some way his life was out of control, just like the bloke who was the focus of the show.  Except his life was out of control because of food and something in his past had caused him to start to eat and find comfort in that.

People in glass houses really should not throw stones....

The man went onto lose 208 lbs in a year, which is amazing considering the level of pain he worked through to get there.  

Is there anyone dizzier?

Three weeks Hubby and I had an appointment (related to the secret).  I was so organised. All the documentation I needed was in my bag and I arranged to pick Hubby up at 2.45 so that we were assured of being on time.  I will say at this point that Hubby's bug bear is that he hates being late for anything.  

So I arrived early to meet him and parked in my usual spot and took out my iPhone and proceeded to read a bit of a free book on iBooks - werewolf books by Nicky Clarke - totally free and great - download them, you'll love them. 

Hubby didn't arrive and I started to get antsy, I turned the car round and drove into his work and out he was sauntering at 2.55.  I'm rather laid back, Hubby's attitude has mellowed me but today he got told off - after all this appointment was very important and of all appointments he should care enough about this one to make sure we were there on time.

The appointment was arranged for 3.20 - we arrived at 3.05.  I didn't apologise for worrying too much - did he not feel this appointment was as important as I did?  I went into this appointment first only to discover that although all documentation had been in a nice neat pile on our table I hadn't picked it all up and without it I would need to make another appointment. 

Hubby was okay, he had all his documentation and I was sheepish; there I had been telling him off (or my version of which is mild to most people) and yet I was totally unprepared.  So we sorted Hubby out and I made another appointment for the following week - after apologising about 20 times.

Except I wrote the appointment down and then put all the paperwork away somewhere "safe" - "safe" has previously resulted in Hubby buying me a keyring that responded to a whistle because I kept putting my keys somewhere "safe".

I didn't stress too much, Hubby told me when the appointment was and so I sorted all the paperwork out and checked it twice ready for my appointment at 2.40pm.  Except my appointment was not at 2.40pm, it was the day before at 2.40pm!

Many people would be totally exasperated by me at this point. Not Hubby - his response was "Please don't ever change!"  I am so grateful I have him because I am convinced that no-one else would put up with this level of dizziness.

So, if there was a meeting for it called Dizziness Anonymous then I would be first in line because even with 3 calendars and 2 "To Do" lists I still can't get an appointment correct.

Last week I attended the appointment again and with all the correct documentation - I was very proud of myself. 
I am aware this post is a little cryptic - but then the appointment is part of "the secret" and as I am sworn to secrecy I cannot divulge what it was for...just yet.

Monday, 23 April 2012

A birthday much like any other...apparently

This should have posted a week ago – me and technology….

Today you celebrate another birthday – or rather every one else does on your behalf because apparently “when you are 64 one birthday is much the same as another.”

Buying presents for you has always been hard and more so now you are retired – after all, if you see something you want you just go out and buy it.  Your suggestion of “something for the car” was useless if I am honest – I mean the car is spotless, not even a year old and like everything else; if you need something for the car you have already bought it and probably a spare for good measure.

So Beautiful B and I took the proverbial….filling a goodie back with all sorts of those label things people stick on their windows with funny sayings, a selection of different smelling air fresheners and cleaning products.

I always said I needed to find a Hubby just like you.  I got the first two wrong and you being you never said anything bad about either of them until I made my mind up about that myself. This time I got it right and you and mum approve of my choice.  In Sean you found a son you thought you would never have.

Dad you are our rock and our protector!  You always have been, you have been there for us all from the day we were born and from the day you married mum.  Your gentleness, understanding and love when we were growing up gave us a template to find a perfect partner when we grew up.  In you, along with mum, we found the strength we needed in our darkest moments and, when needed; the firm instruction to get on with things.

You instilled wonderful virtues in me and I strive to live by those each and every day.  We have always been close but as you get older and I begin to see the frailty and realise that it is now my turn to look after and protect you and mum.

Dad you scared the life out of us 2 years ago when you had your second stroke.  It scared the life out of you and to see you so scared was such an eye opener.  They kept you in the hospital for a week but we knew you were getting better when you were doing Spiderman impressions behind the ward doors pretending to try and find a way out.

I struggle to remember a time when I was growing you where you were frustrated and you were so rarely angry; your control and patience was an example to us all.  Unfortunately this latest stroke took that away from you and your inability to control your emotions has been extremely hard and frustrating for you.

The dynamic of your relationship with mum has changed and while you still love each other as much as ever, if not more, watching the two of you interact can sometimes be amusing as you are much more likely to express your frustration over little things – something we have all had to get used to. 

I am desperately trying to learn as much DIY from you as I can because, lets face it, Hubby is useless at it and is scared of some of it. 

Dad you will always be my hero.  With mum, you instilled excellent morals and standards for me to follow and pass onto Beautiful B.  Because of you and Mum I strived for better opportunities and have been able to support Beautiful B on my own until Hubby came along.  You instilled a work ethic in me that is to be admired and I have passed that onto Beautiful B who, as we know, works her little rocks off.

I hope that I do you proud.  I hope that my love for you is evident every time I see and speak to you.  I hope that I have achieved everything that you wanted me to.  I hope that you can see that I am finally happy with my partner and that he will cherish me and Beautiful B long after you and mum are gone; that we are safe and secure and more than loved.

Happy Birthday and here is a toast to many more to come.   

Remind me where the weekend was again....

Top of the mornin' to y'all.  

Oh, how it seems eons ago that I had 7 day weekends and my house was spotless in which I  pottered about wondering what to do next (as long as it did not involve the gym).  There was a time the idea of not working terrified I long for it with abandon.

Beautiful B's other half, R stays over every weekend these days.  This weekend he had a rare weekend off work so when she got up at the crack of dawn to go and earn her pennies he spent the day in bed.  

Is every young man able to spend the whole day in bed just watching TV?  I have no experience to draw upon.  He can be grateful he wasn't born to me - I'd have dragged him out of bed by his feet by 10.30.  Maybe it means he is growing or something....

After doing all the chores that I could quietly decided 1.30pm was late enough for him to sleep, whacked some QueensRyche and then Def Leppard on at almost full volume and commenced the hoovering.

Saturday was a day filled with chores;
  • 2 bouts of the weekly shop (yes!  I know that is only because I am a fussy mare and prefer one shop to the one I take Hubby's mum too each week)
  • A trip to drop Hubby off to his bi-monthly all day and night drinking session with his buddies - gone are the times where he wanders in at 4 am.  Now his excuse for wandering in around midnight consist of "I'm old..."
  • 5 loads of washing
  • which turned into another one when Lily fluff waited until I had changed the bedding to throw up on it!
  • Sweeping the whole house
  • Mopping all the wooden floors
  • Polishing
  • Preparing and cooking 2 huge batches of different soups in preparation for the week
  • hoovering the stairs and the top floor
  • Picking Beautiful B up to buy clothes for an job interview at the hospital on Tuesday
  • ....hanging about on a rather comfortable chair reading a book while she tried on the WHOLE store
  • cooking tea
  • 4 loads of washing pots (as I had been so busy making recipes you see....just call me Mrs Domesticated)
On picking Beautiful B up from work to take her to buy clothes R said "You were hoovering for AGES today."  I was quietly impressed with myself especially as bottom floor has absolutely not one piece of carpet - YES I KNOW!  Don't say it, I am a freak.  Personally I blame my dad - being ex-army he had a habit of doing a room inspection every Sunday and I had a habit of changing my room around every other weekend.

On relaying the conversation to my mum yesterday her response was "Well you are like your dad and insist on hoovering the same piece of carpet 20 times!"  Well, if that is what it takes for me to be assured I have picked up every last dog hair.....

Sunday was a mixture as always - cleaning with visits to and from family and friends;
  • Up early to make Hubby breakfast in bed - left to his own devices he would have warmed up the left over kebab he fetched home - urgh!
  • Cleaned every window in the house (inside and out)
  • Cleaned the bathroom
  • Swept the floors again
  • Visit to mum and dad
  • Lunch at Hubby's mum - and oh my gosh how gorgeous the roast dinner was!  I ate nearly 2 days worth of points in one meal!  Good job she fills me up so much I never need dinner.
  • Trip to the supermarket (again - only 3 times in 2 days then....) for biscuits needed for a recipe and pizza bases - no supermarket in Blackpool appears to be selling them at the minute! Gggrrr)
  • Visit from Jo and Molly (previously known as Scrappy Fluff)
  • Couple of hours work on the football accounts - which would have been 1 hour had I not made an intentional mistake that I then had to correct
  • More washing - Beautiful B's idea of doing some laundry is to put it in the wash, switch the machine on and hope the washer fairies will transfer it to dryer and then fold it up on completion
  • then finally a sit down to catch up on some TV programmes
  • ....pity I fell asleep within the first hour. 
 I worked out the points used on what was a 1/4 of a small gateau for lunch - 10!  10!  Still not convinced it was worth it and today's breakfast and lunch consist mostly of fruit and vegetables with a vegetable soup for dinner in an attempt to feel virtuous.  I mean 10 points would require a 10 mile walk in exercise to reclaim.

I cannot have gateau in my house any more.  Hubby is weird and does not "do" cake - you can tell how interesting any wedding cake plans are going to be now can't you?! Unfortunately I cannot find a baker that makes wedding cheesecake...

A gateau rarely lasts long enough for Beautiful B to come through the door and claim a piece. I see little point in taking the gateau out of it's packaging to defrost - I mean there is less washing up when you can just eating it direct from it's ready made dish leaving only a spoon to clean.  A day and a halves points in one sitting.

Small wonder I got so big then.....Here's a toast to finally finding some self control.

Friday, 20 April 2012

Wife Swap:USA

I have to admit I do enjoy watching this programme - it's car crash TV at its best. 

Yesterday's episode involved a woman from South Carolina whose hubby was a cuddly gun-loving bloke who bought home his kill and placed them on the walls of his house for posperity.  This wasn't the reason they hadn't shared a bed for 11 years; no that was the snoring to which I can fully relate having been woken up by a foghorn 4 times last night!  Being family orientated and the matriarch of the family, her house was spotless, the children fell in line and obeyed her every command and the family regularly spent quality time with 53 close relatives.  

This woman was swapped with what the cuddly husband eventually called a "tree hugger" after she forced him to take down the confederate flag and remove the dead things from the walls of his home when it was "her week".  Yes, she was an environmentalist and an animal lover. She cried before she even got out of the car on arrival after spying the confederate flag, and again when she saw the gun cupboard in the hallway through the front door.  Then she cried in front of every dead animal on the wall.

The South Carolina mum would have cried had she not been so horrified at the state of the house she went to because the "tree hugger" didn't agree with cleaning - she was happier to lie in bed until 10 am and then sit in a chair all day watching TV and did not agree with cleaning - maybe that was some form of environmentalism but more likely just plain laziness.  Either they smoked a lot or there was over a years supply of cigarette butt ends in a barrel in the back yard....

Cuddly gun-toting male loved his new wife for the first week, her having not let on how horrified she was with the guns and the dead animals.  At the point he told the camera, "I wish I had a wife as thin and pretty as her" I told my TV I would have filed for divorce and Beautiful B almost spat her coffee out in disgust.  His love turned to hatred the second week as usually happens.

At the final meeting, the "tree hugger" bawled her eyes out when she found out her dogs had been made to stay in the back yard during the day.  She told the matriarch that she did not know how she lived with the cuddly man because he "sucked her dry in 10 days".  After the matriarch told her how horrified she was at the state of "tree huggers" house she then said "Well, now I can see you two are made for each other."  On her return home, the family became vegetarians and she determined she "was the best mom on the whole planet" but still did not get up to make her daughter's breakfast before school let alone take her there. 

The USA version is so much more fun than the UK version.  I am sure we have more than our fair share of polar opposites and estremeists but I am guessing that our so called "English reserve" prevents us from wanting it displayed on national television.

I may be woken up 4 times a night with the foghorn who is my hubby and I may complain to myself once a year or so that I do the majority of the cleaning in the house and I certainly find the constant size of the ironing pile an irritation while it waits patiently for Hubby to do it because I cannot but I know how lucky I am and as my mum would say "which side my bread is buttered on".  After all, how many hubby's do the families ironing...

I wouldn't swap my life and certainly not my family for a day, let alone 2 weeks.  In the meantime, Beautiful B and I will continue to watch the show in fascination at just how different people can be.

Tuesday, 17 April 2012

In Memory of Mia

Today is Mia's 4th birthday.  Today Beautiful B may have seen Mia to celebrate her birthday with the rest of the family, including her father.  Unfortunately, Mia and her dad are celebrating her birthday together elsewhere and everyone else is left with mere memories.

By a stroke of luck (I will call it someone elses stupidity!) Beautiful B is seeing her other sister today and she is determined to make it extra special for her.  She has saved her wage and is taking the little one to the zoo - it may be raining but I am sure they will enjoy splashing in the puddles as they make their way round the zoo.

Beautiful B is determined to make sure that her sister remembers Mia even though she is 2 and so she has bought a little birthday cake and some candles and when they have their lunch they will sing Happy Birthday to Mia and remember the happy times.

Following that Beautiful B will make her way to the grave with a helium balloon and a present to wish Mia a beautiful birthday in private. 

Before I left for work I hugged Beautiful B as hard as could be and was, once again, amazed at her strength....that she could smile so soon after such a tragedy is truly remarkable and on such a day as this.  She may have lost her dad and sister within 4 days of each other but seeing her sister and sharing her memories with her has given Beautiful B something to concentrate on today. 

I am sure that if there is a heaven that Tom and Mia are dancing up a storm and celebrating her birthday in style.  If there is a heaven, the one good thing that has come out of this is that Tom gets to be with Mia all the time and protect her the way he couldn't when she was alive.  Although I cannot take her pain away and knowing that neither of her loved ones are suffering as they did when they were alive does not give her much comfort as it is all still so very raw, Beautiful B still draws some strength from that knowledge. 

Beautiful B's committment in preserving their memory for her younger sister a true testimony of her character, her love for others and her complete unselfishness.  To spend today concentrating on her other sister instead of letting the sadness envelop her demonstrates her strength of will and commitment to ensuring that her other sister gets the best possible future she can. 

I am so very proud of my Beautiful B.  I am not sure that in her position I would be as strong as she is being and that makes her such a better person that I could wish to be.  If there is a heaven, Tom is watching over Beautiful B and knowing that even if he felt he had not achieved anything else in his life that we left a legacy in Beautiful B and that, even if in a small way, she will change her part of the world as a result.

Happy Birthday Mia.  I am so glad that your smiling face, happy smiles and "I wuv you Beff's" will live on forever in our memories and thankfully in the videos that Beautiful B has to treasure.  No longer will you suffer, you will not struggle through life but will forever dance and sing with your dad and be Beautiful B's guardian angel - we couldn't wish for a better one.  Give your daddy a kiss from me.

Beautiful B - you are my shining light.  I only hope that I show you how much love, joy and respect I have for you.  You sit on that pedestal, along with Angel and in you I see the strength of character that I have hoped and wished that I will be able to instill in you.  Yes you have your bad days but you soldier on and amaze everyone with your determination.  You know I wish every moment of every day that I could take your pain away and leave you with just the happy memories and that I will walk that long road with you until you see that light at the end of the tunnel. 

I am so very lucky to have you and you make my life complete.  You are every breath that I take and when you hurt it's difficult to breathe but in your stength of late you have demonstrated that if your dad, hubby and I achieve nothing else in life we suceeded because of who you are.  You may be able to see Hubby and I smile at and with you and see the pride in our eyes but know that if there is a heaven, your daddy looks at you like that every single moment of every single day and is so very proud of you.  Love you baby until all the stars fall out of the

Monday, 16 April 2012

Always pack a spare

The problem with security doors that require a security pass to open automatically is that sometimes they just don't work no matter how many times you wave your pass in front of the sensor.....

Who knew I would want to get into work so desperately that I would wander aimlessly around the building until I found one of the 4 doors that provides access that works?!

But that is all besides the point....

Today I decided that I would wear stockings. With a pretty pattern no less.  I'm not a fan of tights mostly because I have a habit of putting holes in them each time I need to pull them up.  I rarely wear them mostly because I am lazy but also because I am a shortass....and so I spend a lot of the day straightening them up, more so when they are patterned. 

I did well on the way to work and walking into the office.  I thought I would straighten them up before I started my work day only to stick a hole in one right under the knee.  I've had them on for less than an hour! 

In future, I might just stay lazy....

Friday, 13 April 2012

Fatigue Friday....again

Just when I thought I was safe!  Fatigue Friday strikes again - last week must have just been lulling me into a false sense of security.

Last night I visited Fi, who is the most creative person I know (HEY! I am an accountant, don't judge...we aren't by nature creative people).  I visited the night before and she was making wedding invitations for one of her church friends who is getting married two weeks before Fi renews her wedding vows to her hubby. 

As a kid I love all things stationery.  I spent I don't know how much of my pocket money on the stuff and for a while when I first started working for this lot I was allowed to order stationery and had a field day, within budgets of course.  Nowadays we have spoilsports for procurement peeps and they have restricted all things fun from the stationery list so it doesn't bother me so much as they have sucked all the nice pretty coloured things from the order and to top it all there aren't any pretty pictures to look at.

Anyhoo....what stationery didn't have when I was a kid was card making equipment and Fi has tons of the stuff with lots of nifty gadgets.  What is so fun about plastic board thingy with lines on it or the diddy hole punch thingy I hear you ask.  Well!  Let me tell you! 

The plastic thingy with lines o it is used to score a piece of card in all sorts of ways to make a perfectly straight folded card! 

The hole punch thingy (yes that is a technical the ribena dictionary) punches the corners of the card to make a perfectly rounded edge.  Now I love that! 

Weird of me to be so excited about simple things?  Well yes but I am weird, my life is full of weirdness....I have a stuffed alien in my bedroom for goodness sake what do you expect.

So I did a 12 hour day at work yesterday and then trollied off to Fi's to help make cards.  Except....the paper trimmer wasn't trimming a perfect edge on the paper and we can't have jaggidy edges on wedding invitations so my fun was spoiled. 

Obviously I stayed to spend some time with Fi before driving to the completely opposite side of town to pick up Beautiful B from the pub...I am so going to start charging her petrol costs.....

Then I took us both home, gave Hubby a hug and promptly took myself to bed.....directly to bed with my head on the pillow without lights, books, iBooks...nothing except blissful sleep within 5 minutes of my head hitting the pillow.  This morning I was up before dawn to let the fluff bags out and to make Hubby's lunch then crawled back into bed and could cheerfully have slept for another 5 hours or so before lazing around in bed for the rest of the day. 

So fatigue Friday is back and I am wishing the days work away before I can get home and go directly to bed without passing go or collecting £200.

Thursday, 12 April 2012

I knew there was some willpower somewhere

We will ignore the fact that I rocked on up to the fat fighters venue last night having not eaten since lunch and drunk no more than a sip of fluid all afternoon only to find the building all locked up.  We will ignore the fact that I went as far as ringing Beautiful B to ask where fat fighters was being held for her to say the same place and for me to argue that no it wasn't because it was all locked up.  We will ignore her response which was "Mum, it is 5.45pm, you are almost an hour early...."

Instead, we will concentrate on how Beautiful B and I stood on those scales knowing that we had both lost weight.  We couldn't not do really considering we may have consumed our body weight of point free vegetable soup this week and Beautiful B survived the whole week with only 4 chicken McNuggets and a Creme Egg McFlurry instead of a full McD meal for every shift. 

We will concentrate on Beautiful B's happiness at losing 5 lbs in one week and the confidence boost it gave her which is much needed at the minute.  We will concentreate on my 11 1/2 lb weight loss and the feeling of control it gave me.  We will ignore the amount of money Beautiful B had me spend on fat fighter goodies though as she is going to break my bank one day.

Yesterday we discussed barriers to weight loss and what excuses we find to not losing weight.  Stress is definitely one of mine - my own I can deal with most of the time, stressing about others isn't one that I have managed to conquer yet.  Beautiful B's is avoiding McDs and being tempted by naughty food well....anywhere really.

Finding excuses not to exercise has been mine this past week despite my initial best intentions so that is what I am working on this week.  Taking into account the fact that I have watched seasons 1 and 2 of True Blood back to back this week and have now rented season 3, frequent attendance at the gym may be a problem over the weekend but having insisted on buying a reebok step last year (and using it at least 4 times a week last year) that will make its first appearance in from of the TV this year so that I can kill two birds with one stone.

After all, 11 1/2 lbs is all well and good, but as probably half of that was due to the first weigh in including jeans and boots and yesterdays including the lightest clothes I can possibly find, a large weight loss next week is not likely to occur without some added exercise.

In case you are wondering, the jeans and boots thing wasn't was forward thinking.

Tuesday, 10 April 2012

To eat an Easter egg or not to eat an Easter egg...that is the question

So, this was the week that I managed to drag myself to fat fighters to be weighed.  In a bid for next week's weigh in to be better I wore my jeans and boots.  Normal you ask?  Oh no, it is probably the only place where you can go and watch a bunch of women strip almost naked without having to pay for it.  Nevertheless, I had a minor heart attack as my best guess was completely out of the ball park.

So much so that when G the leader asked how it was my response was "You REALLY don't want to know."  As she said though, I was there and that was all that mattered or that is what I kept telling myself.

This week I have been good, I have needed a loan for the price of fruit and vegetables but I am back to slaving over a hot stove making healthy meals and cooking more than enough home made soup than a soup kitchen would require.

Except this week it was Easter. 

Was I going to succumb?  I had seen a gorgeous Ferrero Rocher egg in one supermarket but even I baulked at the £10 price tag.  I did venture into another branch of the same supermarket for one but as they had sold out that dilemma was decided for me.

I was doing so well.  Instead of eating chocolate and helping myself to the picnic Hubby fetched home from the shop (on two separate occassions) because he was peckish (one of which cost £26!) I busied myself eating fruit - I am not sure that eating a full punnet of grapes in a day is altogether that healthy calorie wise but as they's the thought that counts....

Easter Sunday I happily took us off to mum-in-laws safe in the knowledge that I could control my points - gammon and veg with maybe a small new potato and I was sorted.  Until she appeared with 2 Easter eggs and to top it off explained she had got the wrong desserts and the usual 2 points for a diet chocolate eclair (yes you read that right) turned into 5 points for a piddly chocolate cake thingymajig. 

To top it off, G the brother-in-law produced 2 further eggs though I am safe in the knowledge that whilst I may succumb to the wrapped centres I will leave the egg and the centres are easy - 2 points each.

It's not even like I can give them to Beautiful B - she refused to work out how much weight she had gained at fat fighters which I deemed to mean it was almost as bad as my record-breaking weight gain and to top that off she does not like Easter egg chocolate because "it tastes funny".

I can at least be safe in the knowledge that Hubby won't be disappearing off to the shop for more treats this week as he has 4 eggs to get through.

I am guaranteed to lose weight this week though as I will not be wearing the jeans and boots again - it could be considered to be cheating except....
1. I haven't and
2. You just know I am going to succumb to weighing the jeans and boots before Wednesday don't you?

Wednesday, 4 April 2012

I'll have the biggest slice

My sister has a habit of calling my mum and inviting herself to dinner.  Not a bone in my body is happy doing that - surely if my mum wanted me to come to dinner then she would invite me?  Even though she has said that we are welcome anytime as long as we give her a days notice it just feels wrong.  Shame really because I could enjoy my mum's cooking any time....

On the same day that I thought I had an appointment that day when it had been the day before, I found myself sat at work contemplating what to make for dinner when I really could not be bothered.  It took me 5 minutes to realise we had arranged to go round to mums for dinner.  Not scatty at all, really not....

My mum makes a mean homemade meat and potato pie.  She used to make it every Christmas Eve and the whole family would have it for supper before we went to bed to wait for Father Christmas - after I had tried opening the gifts and wrapping them back up again having found them in the cupboard earlier that month.  As much as I am seriously not a lover of pastry, especially on a pie the crust on this pie is by far the best I have ever tasted and regularly Beautiful B and I are arguing over who is getting the biggest piece.

Except this year I had Beautiful B's boyfriend R wading in telling me he was having the biggest piece!  Hubby just sat there taking it all in; not defending me at all!  As this argument occurs every time mum cooks it my dad took a measuring tape out yesterday to ensure we had equal amounts of pie crust - not that you can tell he is ex-army at all.

I sat opposite Hubby and despite giving the best impression of puss in boots from the Shrek movies he did not give me any of his crust - in fact, mum asked me if I was feeling okay so I guess the impression was nothing like what I was trying to convey.

I had initially asked for Jager Schnitzel but seen as Hubby doesn't like most sauces let alone the mushrooms in that sauce it was a bit unfair.  Mum explained that when we next go for dinner she will make Jager Schnitzel but make Hubby a small meat and potato pie at which point I nearly choked on the beautiful pie crust I was eating!

Me:   "You can't do that!"
Mum: "Technically I can but why not?"
Me:   "Because it leaves me with a dilemma."
Mum: "What dilemma would that be honey?" (with a twinkle in her eye)
Me:   "Well they are both my favourite meals and so I will be torn and I really can't be eating two meals now can I?"
Mum: "Well don't - you just pick one."
Me:    "That is like asking me to choose between which arm I want to chop off!"
Mum:  "Well, you could eat two meals."
Me:    "No I shouldn't because I am going to have to try, at some stage, to lose this weight I put on recovering from this major surgery."
Mum:  "But you could though...."
Me:    "Make him meat pie instead then I don't have to sit at the table crying in my dinner."
Hubby:"Why meat pie?"
Me:    "I'm not keen on the meat pie crust."
Hubby:"You are weird."
Me:    "Yes, I am.  We all know that but I maintain the crust is different so therefore I'm not keen on it and I won't face a dilemma."
Mum:  "It has the same ingredients."
Me:    "That may be so, but my taste buds prefer this crust because it is flavoured with the meat and potato pie and it has no stupid edges that haven't been soaked in the filling like normal pies so I don't have to pick all the edges off and put them on Hubby's plate."
Hubby:"You are one of a kind."
Me:    "Yes I am and you wouldn't have me any other way."
Hubby:"True, don't ever change."

Beautiful B's boyfriend R sat and laughed his head off.  He wasn't laughing his head off later in the evening while he sat in a chair in-between mum and I while we discussed the virtue of using hot wax when having your bikini line done as opposed to normal wax.  At which point Beauitful B said "R, you get used to it honey."

Tuesday, 3 April 2012

Smelling beautiful

People think we are crazy to have 4 dogs.  Well, me being crazy goes without saying and Hubby would basically let me do what I wanted (except tell a secret!! - It's our secret, why not - hmmph) and Beautiful B; well she is used to me after 17 years. 

You all know I love little baba fluffs; they give you undying love and affection, you could melt in their eyes (especially if you keep the one with Puss in Boots eyes), they are always happy and they all have totally different personalities so you ignore the bad things.....

Which include:
  • gnawing the spindles of a new rocking chair
  • chewing a hole in the edging of the new leather sofa chair arm
  • Taking great delight at pretending to be an Andrex puppy and toilet paper the house given any opportunity
  • waking me up at 4am because your bladder is still to small (Hubby's excuse for baba fluff despite the fact that she just turned 1)
  • leaving the kitchen and now living room doors with what appear to be claw marks from the smallest bear ever
  • ripping open any package in case there are sweets in there
  • being untrainable in the art of not barking
  • going out as a twosome or threesome only to be let back in and the other 1 or 2 of you then remembering you need to go out also
  • getting far too excitable on the field and legging it over to the nearest giant dog and lying on your back in submission in the hope it doesn't snap you in half
  • sitting on my stomach in a morning until your eyes have been cleaned so you can get the jelly bean that has now become habit
  • thinking you are the doggy version of a human car wash and must ensure every inch of bare skin is cleaned at every opportunity
This list is not exhaustive.

The joy of having the back garden landscaped with beautiful paving and separated into 2 so that the fluff bags get one half while the other stays clean is that it's much easier to clean than our last concrete monstrosity.  Having 4 dogs makes for a lot of pee so a power washer was purchased and after having to admit defeat and get Hubby to help me put one end of the hose on the outside tap I started to clean the paving. 

I would ask who knew how much fun it would be but if I'm honest I kind of know how much fun it is so I merrily spent an hour in the sunny warm garden with the power washer, lots of water and puddles.  Then I sat in the sun in the somewhat gnawed rocking chair and read in the first real warm sun we have had this year.

So where does smellingly beautiful come in?  Cala fluff cleans everyone; it is her mission in life apparently.  Wagging of the tail and hugs must, apparently, come with lots of sloppy kisses - she obviously thinks it negates the need for a shower as a result.  She won't be told, it is her way of mothering us all.  Pity she cannot clean her own head because at some stage before the power wash she decided to rub her head and neck over some "wet" paving shall we say....and she stunk.

Beautiful B was tasked with giving Cala fluff a bath.  She needs cheering up and sometimes there is nothing better than seeing the sulking of a fluff bag in the bath knowing that the resultant undeniable excitement in Cala fluffs eyes are because she knows that in less than 5 minutes she will be tearing around the house with Lily fluff who waits somewhat noisily and impatiently behind the bathroom door. 

I walked in the house after work yesterday to the normal barrage of barking for Cala fluff to bark longer and louder at me as if she was telling me she had been chucked in the bath and she just KNEW it was my fault.  So I buried my nose in her head and inhaled the scent of a beautiful smelling fluff bag and allowed her the joy of licking my neck to death....

....then I went and had a shower.