Wednesday, 25 August 2010

Losing the Will to Live

Seriously!  It's damn near 7pm, I've been here since 7.30 am and I will be here until at least 7.30pm and this is the 4th time in a week.  So I have signed off work and blogging to let you know that I will shortly lose the will to live.  Normally, I blog from home but when I get home I will be going straight to bed, not passing go and not collecting £200.

I hate deadlines.  I hate that someone, somewhere can tell a boss that a process can roll out in a month and then leave little old me to deliver the said process in (what I would have told him, had I been asked....) an impossible deadline.  Which is why they possibly don't ask us poor minions for that type of opinion!

I mean as much as I would LOVE to tell him "no chance" and laugh hysterically at him that it cannot possibly be rolled out in that time, but that isn't going to happen if I want to keep my job.

And the worst  best thing is, that my name is all over everything - so it is me telling people they have to do more work with the same number of people (soon to be 40% less if Mr Cameron is to be believed), not the person who made the decision.  If I allowed my picture to be taken I am sure it would be all over numerous dartboards by now.

I haven't badgered you all with insane twitterings because 1, I haven't had time and 2, my brain has gone into a coma or died by the time I get home.

I will be here until gone 7pm every night until Friday and then I may, just may, be able to relax a little.  That said, I am sure that something else will happen in the meantime that will require me to stay til stupid o'clock at work next week too.

Is 7.30pm late really!?  Are mostly 12-13 hour days at work a bad thing? In the grand scheme of things.  I have heard all sorts of stories about high flying big wigs in London that work stupid long hours regularly.  I know there are people that work long hours up this godforsaken Northern part of the country but seriously people lets make it clear that:

1.  I am a civil servant, we are not supposed to look out of the window in the morning, for fear of having nothing to do in the afternoon (apparently!!!! - that has never been the case and I have been here for longer than someone would serve a murder sentance so I should know)
2.  I do not earn the highfaluting (not even a word!) salary that would satisfy my requirement to work so late so often and for so long without something additional to show for it.

So why do I do it?
Yes, it is fantastic evidence for a promotion report and I am learning loads!!!! I am not just saying that, I am.  Which is why I am still sat here.  I can use the evidence in the future and it all assists in my plan to take over the accounting world (not really, just thought I'd say it to see what it sounded like).  If I was truly hating it, I would not be here.  I don't like letting people down.  My parents are to blame, I love them dearly but did they have to teach me responsibility, did they, really? 

I'm loving that I am learning lots of new things and stretching myself.  I am not good sometimes at pushing myself into the outer circle of the comfort zone and this is way beyond that and if I am honest, just what I needed.  I am just tired today, that's all.

I have to point out that I have 3 dogs and I seriously have begun to wonder if all the insane barking that occurs when I get home is because they think I am a stranger and they are trying to warn me that should I not vacate the property within the next 5 minutes, they will gnaw my ankles off. 

I have just realised that my comsumption since I woke up this morning has consisted of 4 cans of coke, a mars bar, a packet of cola flavoured chewits and a pack of pickled onion flavoured monster munch crisps....which may explain why my nerve synapses are firing at 1 million times a second and I am blogging!

Wednesday, 11 August 2010

Put The Broken Windscreen Wiper in the Bin

When we were children we wrote a very special list - once a year, lining up different colour crayons and glitter and such to write a very neat list of things we would like Santa to fetch us for Christmas because we felt we had been good.  Ignore the fact that we had, during the year, ripped most of our books reasoning that we did not read them anymore and managed to fight with our sister each and every day of the year or sulked when mum would not buy us sweets (that may well just be me....).

I still write lists.  Previously, I wrote them when I was especially forgetful which was usually when I was stressed.  Lately, these have become more frequent, especially post qualification and I am wondering why.  I've decided that rather than trying to find things to fill ex-study time, I am getting a perverse sort of pleasure from being able to tick things off a list as complete.  I don't suppose it matters what is on the list or how quickly that task can be done (as the title shows).  As an example this was part of yesterdays list:

  • Polish/wipe airing cupboard (seen as I had emptied a whole forest worth of notes out of it and choked on the dust....)
  • Buy piggy bank for pennies (one without a hole in the bottom as I am strangely not tempted to dip into it if I have to smash it to get to the money)
  • Sweep up
  • Put CIPFA membership application in bag (note I did not put on the list to actually fill it in)
  • Update calendar with dates dogs were frontlined and when next due (because that is so important!)
  • Arrange night with bestest friends in the whole wide world (bar Hubby and Beautiful B off course)
  • Sort Tea for Tuesday (I forgot that we go to Hubby's mum's for tea every Tuesday - hence the need to write a list)
  • Pet magnet the stairs (another post for another day about this wonderful little invention)
  • Sort the clothes from the dryer
  • Sort paperwork out in drawer
  • Put plasterboard in car for the tip
  • Change the windscreen wiper
  • Put the broken windscreen wiper in the bin (now these were separated because I was putting the new wiper on the car at a different time than throwing the old one away - I DON'T know why!)
  • Put shredded paper in bin (after sorting paperwork in drawer obviously)
  • ........
and so it went on.  None of it important but all totally satisfying.

What about my work to do list?  Was that what you asked?  (rolling of eyes and whistling) - nothing ticked off that but my excuse is that those take much longer than a day to do.....


Wednesday, 4 August 2010

Well! Would you believe it?!

I have no idea how I did it.

I don't really care.  I am too busy floating on a cloud of euphoria, only to be smacked in the face every now and again with the knowledge that I have finally finished the study. 

Then I laugh...because I am a fully fledged bonafide accountant. 

I truly did not expect to pass but somehow, I didn't just pass I got a whole 12% more than I expected to.  As for the other one, well I scored the best I have ever done and it just goes to show that twittering sometimes really does count.

Will I study again?  Never.

Was it Bond that said "Never say never"?

Hubby is giving me a year before I become bored and find something else to study.

Beautiful B is busy posting comments on Facebook about how proud she is of me, how much she loves me and how she never doubted my abilities, even if I did....she is a true darling and I am more and more proud to be her mum each and every day.

I apologised to Hubby and Beautiful B for how truly awful I have been (which was snappy - especially just after the exams).  Hubby told me "There was only you that ever doubted yourself....the rest of us never lost our belief."  Which explained the constant comments of "You will be fine...", "Stop worrying....we love you", "You have said this before and passed" - my response to the latter was "Yes, but this was worse and I really really mean it this time"

I bought them gifts and then some for my friends and my sister too. 

I took so long to post because I threw all the books and notes (of which I had not dared to throw a single note away in 5 years - you can only imagine the size of bonfire I was building) and then went on a cleaning frenzy until half way through the second day Hubby banned me from doing more.

So far I have not burned my books as promised but that is because it rained.  I firmly believe that is God's way of ensuring that I can prolong the celebrations to this weekend.  In fact, it is very sunny out the window at the moment........