My sister has a habit of calling my mum and inviting herself to dinner. Not a bone in my body is happy doing that - surely if my mum wanted me to come to dinner then she would invite me? Even though she has said that we are welcome anytime as long as we give her a days notice it just feels wrong. Shame really because I could enjoy my mum's cooking any time....
On the same day that I thought I had an appointment that day when it had been the day before, I found myself sat at work contemplating what to make for dinner when I really could not be bothered. It took me 5 minutes to realise we had arranged to go round to mums for dinner. Not scatty at all, really not....
My mum makes a mean homemade meat and potato pie. She used to make it every Christmas Eve and the whole family would have it for supper before we went to bed to wait for Father Christmas - after I had tried opening the gifts and wrapping them back up again having found them in the cupboard earlier that month. As much as I am seriously not a lover of pastry, especially on a pie the crust on this pie is by far the best I have ever tasted and regularly Beautiful B and I are arguing over who is getting the biggest piece.
Except this year I had Beautiful B's boyfriend R wading in telling me he was having the biggest piece! Hubby just sat there taking it all in; not defending me at all! As this argument occurs every time mum cooks it my dad took a measuring tape out yesterday to ensure we had equal amounts of pie crust - not that you can tell he is ex-army at all.
I sat opposite Hubby and despite giving the best impression of puss in boots from the Shrek movies he did not give me any of his crust - in fact, mum asked me if I was feeling okay so I guess the impression was nothing like what I was trying to convey.
I had initially asked for Jager Schnitzel but seen as Hubby doesn't like most sauces let alone the mushrooms in that sauce it was a bit unfair. Mum explained that when we next go for dinner she will make Jager Schnitzel but make Hubby a small meat and potato pie at which point I nearly choked on the beautiful pie crust I was eating!
Me: "You can't do that!"
Mum: "Technically I can but why not?"
Me: "Because it leaves me with a dilemma."
Mum: "What dilemma would that be honey?" (with a twinkle in her eye)
Me: "Well they are both my favourite meals and so I will be torn and I really can't be eating two meals now can I?"
Mum: "Well don't - you just pick one."
Me: "That is like asking me to choose between which arm I want to chop off!"
Mum: "Well, you could eat two meals."
Me: "No I shouldn't because I am going to have to try, at some stage, to lose this weight I put on recovering from this major surgery."
Mum: "But you could though...."
Me: "Make him meat pie instead then I don't have to sit at the table crying in my dinner."
Hubby:"Why meat pie?"
Me: "I'm not keen on the meat pie crust."
Hubby:"You are weird."
Me: "Yes, I am. We all know that but I maintain the crust is different so therefore I'm not keen on it and I won't face a dilemma."
Mum: "It has the same ingredients."
Me: "That may be so, but my taste buds prefer this crust because it is flavoured with the meat and potato pie and it has no stupid edges that haven't been soaked in the filling like normal pies so I don't have to pick all the edges off and put them on Hubby's plate."
Hubby:"You are one of a kind."
Me: "Yes I am and you wouldn't have me any other way."
Hubby:"True, don't ever change."
Beautiful B's boyfriend R sat and laughed his head off. He wasn't laughing his head off later in the evening while he sat in a chair in-between mum and I while we discussed the virtue of using hot wax when having your bikini line done as opposed to normal wax. At which point Beauitful B said "R, you get used to it honey."