Wednesday, 31 July 2013

A little slice of history....and paradise

Evidenty Ducks....I'm easily pleased
I have mentioned in a previous post that I spent a beautiful sunny day with my mum and dad picking whimberries (like blueberries but not...).  We were too early for the fruit and we walked miles that morning.  In the afternoon, mum and dad took me to Sunnyhurst Wood which is a few miles from where they grew up.

Sometimes it is difficult to find a lot of greenery in many towns.  In Blackpool we have Stanley Park which is lovely and has a duck pond, tennis courts, children's playground, cafe, flowers and the like but obviously it isn't a wood but does make a lovely day out with family especially when it is sunny.  We also have a trail not too far from our home where we walk the fluffers.  The trail is 3 miles long and a great way of catching up with family and spending quality time with them but isn't somewhere you can sit and watch the world go by.
I guess Sunnyhurst Wood is like a lot of woods and others may not be so impressed with it as I.  It holds some history for me because it is close to where my parents grew up and somewhere they used to walk.  I also recall walks with mum and dad there when we were children but those memories are hazy.

Possibly being a sad individual I thought this was a nice touch - the 'friends of Sunnyhurst Wood' laid this to commemorate Prince William and Kate's wedding.  Not something we would find in our local park.

Mum and Dad took Skip, their Jack Russell, along with us.  He loves a trip in the car and walks and as the vet said that he needed to lose quite a bit of weight (something to do with getting a full Sunday Dinner and fed scraps off my mum and dad's plate....) it was good for him.
It was boiling that day...okay, not boiling but very hot and was in the late 20's.  Skip walked in the morning looking to get near some water and during our walk in Sunnyhurst Wood we giggled at his desire to find just the right spot to get in the small river to have a drink.

He spent a good 10 minutes walking towards the water then changing his mind, walking a little further and then having a look again before moving on.  I would expect a dog to jump in without a care in the world, except for Fred who is scared of his own shadow.  Eventually, Dad took matters into his own hands and placed him in the river for a drink.

During our walk through Sunnyhurst Wood I found beautiful view such as this:

and this:
Not something we can find anywhere in Blackpool.  We stopped for lunch, Dad having carried a bag around all morning with sandwiches, crisps, pop and a flask full of coffee.  I would have happily sat in the sun but my mum needed shade.  I compromised sitting on the part of the bench that was in the sun.  Not that I am fussy or anything.
The best thing about the walk was finding out that not only was this the place where my mum and dad had their very first date but also that my mum could still point out the exact spot that dad took his first photograph of her 45 years ago.  My mum and dad aren't ones for showing their affections in public and it was such a rare moment that I felt very very privileged to have been there.
Obviously, I therefore decided that we needed a photograph of them in Sunnyhurst Wood to commemorate 45 years together!
Don't you think the shopping bag just adds to the photo?
It is very rare that we can find a whole day to spend together like this and I was very blessed to have spent the day with them. 

Tuesday, 30 July 2013

What I learned this week

The first week of enforced sick leave is over so what did I learn?
  • It may take nearly a whole week before your legs start to peel from sunburn
  • A week goes far too fast when on leave and you wonder where the time went
  • You can still feel like you haven't had much relaxation after a week on sick leave
  • After a week you can already be sick of the revolving door of appointments
  • Not drinking the fluids in the quantity you are told may mean that your veins are too deep and dehydrated to see on a scan so you will need another one in a week
  • Caffeine based drinks, especially Coca Cola and Pepsi dehydrate you (I will admit I already knew this and ignored it) and your veins (didn't know that) which makes them difficult to see on a scan but more importantly put you at a much higher risk of deep vein thrombosis (which is kind of scary)
  • It is much easier to take the water filter upstairs or in the living room so you are not constantly up and down to the kitchen refilling glasses
  • It is possible to clear 18% of the sky planner in a day and in a week you can clear 50%
  • The ergonomic and reclining sun lounger is an excellent solution to raising your legs above hip level as per hospital orders; not only to catch some rays but also to watch TV or read when indoors
  • It is far too easy to fall asleep on a sun lounger outside
  • Hubby will tell you off for attempting to do anything relating to housework as the lack of anti-inflammatories cause pain doing the slightest thing
  • Plants need watering a lot more when a) it doesn't rain and b) temperatures are constantly in the high 20's
  • It is a good idea to change the type of spray on the hose before attempting to water plants with it - a high density spray will only splatter soil all over the patio
  • The dogs are stupid because they insist on sitting on the hot patio despite the fact that it risks burning the pads of their feet
  • Emus and Kangaroos cannot walk backwards and finally
  • The dot over an 'i' is called a tittle
So What have you learned this week?

To join in on the What I Learned This Week carnival, simply follow these steps:

1. Any time this week, publish your What I Learned This Week post on your blog and comment on my blog hyper linking to your blog.

2. Then go and visit Julie’s blog at From Inmates to Playdates, find her latest “What I learned this week” and link up with the Mr. Linky form at the bottom of the post. Please put the link to your POST, not the front page of your blog.

3. Then visit the other participants and see what they learned this week.

Friday, 26 July 2013

How to panic a husband in one easy step

Granted it is easier than most with my Hubby because he is a worrier by nature!

First get swollen ankles:
  • Take yourself to the GP expecting to be given water tablets and told to lose weight.
  • End up at the hospital for blood tests for a suspected clot in your leg.
  • Stab yourself daily with a prescribed needle for a week, return to the hospital for a scan, for it to be inclusive and fill the prescription for another week of injections before another scan.
  • Oh I forgot......have suspected angina, have your anti-inflammatories taken off you pending tests with the cardiologist and wait patiently for the pain in your hands and wrists to kick off.  As well as pain in the ankles each morning (the nurse at the hospital will say 'Oh that is likely a bit of arthritis' like it isn't really another thing to pile to your already large list of illnesses.
Right have you done all of that?

Then plan to take some rubbish to the refuse tip, nip into the social club to collect the club's funds to be banked, and finally take your mother in law shopping making sure that Hubby knows you are shopping at 1am and should be home by 2.30pm.

Right, now respond to an invite for a drink, by text, to your brothers house and nip round there after shopping because the social club was shut and you need to return at 3.30pm; after all they are only 5 minutes away from each other and your house is at the other end of town.

As usual, talk the hind leg off a donkey with those you love and be given a large glass of water and somewhere to elevate your leg by your brother.  Answer your pmobile hone at 4pm. 

Hubby will be on the end of the line saying "Where are you?"

"Ooooh, C invited me to his for a drink and seen as I am in that part of town I accepted."

Hubby will be silent for a beat or two and then say "Next time would you let me know as I have returned home to an empty house expecting you to be in at 2.30pm after shopping and panicked because you are ill and shouldn't be galavanting around town."


Lesson learned.

The Second Husband

There is a standing joke in this house that Hugh Jackman is my second husband.  Assuming I am not going to be admitted to hospital following the scan of my leg this morning I will be at the cinema tonight, with A and Beautiful B, drooling into an empty ice-cream cup while watching him in Wolverine.
So in the event that I cannot post tomorrow morning I have prepared this and will update if all goes well this afternoon.
It all started when I innocently watch X-Men.  Normal for me considering I have not really grown up so a film based on old comic characters entertain me and keep me quiet for a couple of hours. 
I enjoyed the film but it surpassed my expections as we were introduced to Hugh Jackman:

We can ignore his hair although weird because even as part wolf I don't get the sticky up bits. It helps that he is well built because I like a bit of that which scores marks on top of him being a good looking man; always a bonus.  I also like bad boys but as I am a big softie at heart only in films).
Following this film I watched Swordfish, still one of my favourite films.  In this film I almost fainted away when he appeared on screen like this:
 and this:

 and I wasn't wishing thinking I would happily swap places with her at all......
Thankfully I had scooped up a cinema magazine on the way in as it came in handy to fan myself.
Swordfish also had an added bonus, John Travolta.  Having watched a few of his films Swordfish confirmed my belief that he is brilliant when cast as a bad guy.  Or is that just my bad boy film complex rearing its head.....mmmmm.
Imagine my delight when a whole film was dedicated to Wolverine:
Not a great photo but yummy!
I managed to restrain myself and only visit the cinema once but of course I have the DVD....not that I have time to watch DVDs because I record far too much on the cable planner.
And now we have Wolverine:
Yes, I have checked and CGI is not used to make him look HUGE

Never fear, he does look normal in real life - I could happily look at that face every day. 

Yes I am aware that a lot of airbrushing probably went into that photo so just for you guys here is a more realistic one and yes, I could still stare at him all day.....
Not that I am obsessed in any way shape or form.....
I will be more than upset if I have to stay in hospital following the scan; stuff the fact that I may have a blood clot that could travel to a somewhat important part of my body and have a jig, I will be sat in a bed imagining sitting in the cinema discussing his various  attributes.
Maybe that should be the first question I ask when I get to the hospital:  'I'm sorry, but it is very important that I am not admitted tonight as I have a very very important commitment that I cannot miss.  Would it be possible to give me an extra big jab with a needle so I can go home for the evening?  I will be careful I don't cut myself in the meantime and am more than willing to come back here at 10.30pm to be admitted if it is a case of life or the nasty blood clot saying "lets plug this very important organ time".....'
So here is hoping that everything goes well this afternoon and I can return home and report how much I swooned....anyone got any smelling salts.....
As you have guessed I was not kept in the hospital.  No clot in the thigh and my mum's deep veins in the calf made that inconclusive; so more injections, more fluids, more leg elevation and regular short walks are in order.  So that meant....Wolverine!
So without further ado and in the public interest only of course: In a teenagers words OMG!  He is so fine.....nice and buff and very muscular for this role.  Quite a few topless scenes to keep the girls happy, though I could have done with a few more.  A brief bath scene and and even briefer glimpse at the top of his buttocks (cue the napkin wafting) made the film extremely good. 
Beautiful B posted a message on FB that start "Oooh Mr Hugh Jackman!...." which says it all really as well as 'like mother, like daughter'.  She is very intrigued with the particular way he looks when he does the 'angry' look. 
Oh how good was the film I hear you ask.....Sorry, I was distracted for a moment. 
A good film, lots of fight scenes but it is The Wolverine so to be expected.  A decent story line and worth a watch or two.  Much more enjoyable if you have a thing for Hugh Jackman and like muscular men though....

Thursday, 25 July 2013

It's expected...okay!

I am British and I live in the UK so I guess it is expected that I say something about the new royal baby. 

Well here goes; yes the baby is a future king (though I secretly wanted a girl - after all after Charles and William have taken the throne I think it will be time for a bit of girl power again; power being an inoperative word because the head of the monarchy doesn't have that much power).  There is a lot of media attention on William and Kate and I certainly wouldn't have stood for hours outside the hospital waiting for a glimpse of the baby, after all you get a much better picture on the TV and standing for that long would give me serious backache. 

Yet a part of me, and this is where I may get some backlash, cannot understand how the news can report the same thing over and over again as headline news.  Yesterday, which would have been when he was a day old, every channel reported it as headline news.  One particular news programme concentrated wholly on the birth of the baby (and this was before he was presented to the public) 5 times before the report of a murder was announced.

Don't get me wrong, I don't like bad news.  In fact, I rarely watch the news because I don't need to be reminded how bad the world around us is getting and I have twittered about it on more than one occasion.  So maybe I am being a bit fickle because now we get some good news and I am twittering again.  But what I am saying is this: Is the birth of a future king so important that other news should fall by the wayside?  I don't think so.

I guess there are 3 camps in the UK; those that are royalists, those that are indifferent and those that think the monarchy is outdated and should end. 

I do wonder why royalists are royalists; do they firmly believe in the history of it all and that it should continue for that reason or do they want a monarchy because of the tourism revenue the UK receives as a result of it?  Probably a bit of both but I certainly do not sit in that camp. 

I'm certainly not a royalist though I did like Princess Diana a lot but that was because she came over as a very lovely warm and caring person.  I have been to London and as I like history being able to visit the sights and museums is very nice and interesting.

From a political point of view, I agree that the monarchy is outdated in today's society.  Politically the head of the monarchy does not hold much the power; the Queen signs to agree new law and legislation but is merely rubber stamps it. 

There are other reasons for a monarchy though: For historical purposes of course; how do you just disband the monarchy?   And linked to that, tourism.  There are probably more than this...

There is no doubt that the UK monarchy accounts for a lot of tourism revenue and it certainly interests some people from countries that do not have a monarchy.  Tied to today's monarchy is all of it's history and that is very interesting but it would be sad to maintain a monarchy just for tourism revenue but of course there are a myriad of factors for it to remain.

Ultimately I sit in the indifferent camp; unusual for me I know....  Only joking; I am quite laid back and if it doesn't directly affect me then I don't really have a strong opinion either way.  There is no doubt that the monarchy is useful for tourism and for historical purposes. 

After all, when I travel to London with Beautiful B later this year I will happily visit all of the sights with Beautiful B and revel in the historical relevance because I like doing that.  I could wander around a museum all day long reading about the history of the world, Hubby hates it and I may just annoy Beautiful B with it when we are in London

From a personal point of view I know that William and Kate have been brought up to be in the limelight and any new parent wants to show of their new baby but I can't help but wonder whether a part of them wanted to share their delight with just family and friends as it is a very personal and private thing.

I couldn't help but wonder if Kate looked a little uncomfortable in front of the media when they showed their son to the world. 

On a totally fickle level I did wonder whether someone had done her hair for her as I certainly wouldn't want to be bothered to make myself that presentable the day after my baby was born.  I am guessing the last thing she wanted to be bothered doing was shaving her legs for the public......


Wednesday, 24 July 2013

Alas dear Coca Cola....

We can no longer be friends, busom buddies, each others crutch (well, okay you are my crutch and not the other way round) and nor can you be the one I turn to in times of stress, weakness or need for a desperate sugar rush.

I will forever miss the sweet sensation you provide and the hint of caramel in your flavour.  I won't miss the sugar you leave on my teeth and neither will my dentist but I will miss you none the less.  Your flavour outweighs the bad things but I have had to see the light as much as I don't want to.

Why are you leaving me? I hear you ask.

You are not good for me.  I have left you and come back to you time and time again throughout my adult life, you are like a drug, my drug of choice.  But like all drugs you are bad for me.  In terms of drugs, you are the least dangerous of many and it is not your fault that I can happily drink over 2 litres of you a day.

That much of you in one day may make me happy but it is slowly making me ill.  Your sugary goodness serves to help increase my weight.  You see, I calculated that if I ate my normal expected calorie intake for the day and then drank the 5 cans of Coca Cola I do each day I would put in 57 lbs in a year!  On top of what I already am.  My body cannot stand that much weight gain.

As much as this will pain you I have turned to your rival Pepsi Max to try and wean myself slowly of Coca Cola.  I know it does not taste as nice and I miss the caramel flavour but it does not have the same calorific content and so it is a start in the journey I must take to stop drinking all carbonated drinks.


Well, Pepsi Max would prevent the increased 57lb weight gain because of the lack of sugar and my GP will be happy but my dentist wouldn't.

You see carbonated drinks, regardless of sugar content apparently still rot your teeth.  I cannot begin to understand why, after all I understand numbers and even then not so well, but my teeth are already a worry and so I had another decision to make.

Ultimately, water and at best with a little cordial is the aim.  I know!  It is blasphemy but it has to be done. 

I can only hope that you can get over the loss of our relationship and that you find another who will love you as I do.  Rest assured that you can take some comfort from the fact that a little part of me will always love you.


Tuesday, 23 July 2013

What I learned this week

My sincere apologies for posting this a little late today.  I have been delayed by Dean....

It is such a shame he doesn't dress like this in all the episodes of Supernatural.

as well as finishing a game I bought in Big Fish Games - which I could argue is almost wholly responsible for my procrastination when it comes to doing the accounts.

Anyhoo, what have I learned this week?  Well it turns out to be quite a lot:

  • A blood clot somewhere in your leg doesn't necessarily cause the redness and pain usually experienced by people with a DVT.....if you catch it early enough.
  • Sometimes swelling in your ankles is not just swelling because of heat and because you are fat.
  • If your ankles are swelling more on one foot it is an idea to measure your calves as you may not have noticied one is 3 centimetres bigger than the other.
  • If you go to the GP complaining of swollen ankles and one calf is 3 cm bigger than the other prepare for all hell breaking lose in the doctor's surgery.
  • Ignore what the nurse tells you about the heparin injection not bruising; it does.
  • Heparin injections have smaller needles than the ones used to take blood from your arm.
  • The nurses will think you are funny when you get over the shock and tell them that giving heparin injections to yourself will be easy as you have plenty of padding on your stomach.
  • The GP and nurse at the surgery will think you are mad when you go back for a blood test 3 days later and tell them you intend on going to work; you won't be by the time you come out of the surgery.
  • Prepare for feeling a bit like wandering around your house wondering what to do when Hubby goes into protection mode and won't let you do anything.
  • For the record, hoovering and ironing will not be allowed but grudgingly you will be allowed to dust the house.
  • You can increase the space on the cable planner by 16% in one day of TV watching.
  • Sitting in an office chair playing games on the computer will cause your ankles to start swelling within the hour and require elevation.
  • Game playing is bad for the slipped disc and RSI pain experienced in hands and fingers and should be stopped.
  • Giving up Pepsi Max for water for the cause of ensuring you stay hydrated as it helps the DVT (somehow!) is harder than you can imagine.
  • and your random fact for the day: a baby hedgehog is called a hoglet.....
So there we have it and as I am on enforced sick leave I am not sure just how much I will learn in a week, other than boredom....
What have you learned this week?

To join in on the What I Learned This Week carnival, simply follow these steps:

1. Any time this week, publish your What I Learned This Week post on your blog and comment on my blog hyper linking to your blog.

2. Then go and visit Julie’s blog at From Inmates to Playdates, find her latest “What I learned this week” and link up with the Mr. Linky form at the bottom of the post. Please put the link to your POST, not the front page of your blog.

3. Then visit the other participants and see what they learned this week.


Monday, 22 July 2013

The day I didn't blow things out of proportion

You may or may not have seen yesterday's post that I wrote while sat in the Urgent Care Centre at the hospital waiting for test results.
To recap I went to see my GP about swollen ankles.  My ankles have always swollen even when I am skinny, my right more than my left, but lately even I have wondered whether I am right is thinking they were swelling more than normal.
Before my 2 weeks leave I was at the GP about the slipped disc and mentioned it and he asked whether there I'd recently broken a bone and all the usual questions, had a feel at my leg and said it was likely down to the hot weather, which is unusally hotter than normal at this time of year.
During my two weeks leave they swelled a little but not as much as they do when I am at work, sat in a chair, playing with MS Excel and a bunch of numbers all day.  When I returned to work they started to swell again.
Now we all know I have a phobia of feet, massively so, and so you can imagine the horror at the idea of taking photos of my own feet which have to bee some of ugliest in the world.  Only being able to get a morning appointment at the GP's, I figured they needed to see what they looked like by the end of the day.  In the interests of this story here they are: though I have removed as much of the foot as possible so you can just see the swelling:
No this is not a fat arm - this is my right ankle!

Not looking quite as swollen from above!
Seriously, this ankle would not have looked out of place on a 50 stone person.  Now, I am fat as I have gotten far too comfortable with Hubby since we married but still, even I had to agree they were a little excessive.
So I trollied off to the GP expecting water tablets and a stern telling off to lose weight.
Instead, I was sent to the hospital where I sat patiently in excess of 30 degrees of heat expecting to be told again, water tablets and start moving around woman!
After all, the initial question and answer sheet with the nurse indicated a low risk score and I am talking ZERO, so all I had to do was sit still, read a book on the iPhone and try desperately to stay awake.
Even when the nurse wandered back with what looked suspiciously like a prescription I was still thinking "Water tablets!"
Oh no, apparently the blood tests indicate a blood clot, hopefully small, somewhere so I have to return to the hospital on Thursday afternoon for a scan of my right leg.  What happened to ZERO?  Meanwhile, after getting over the shock (and having a bit of a moment because I am nothing if not melodramatic when it comes to things that shock me), the nurse informed me that prior to the scan they have to treat the results as though I have Deep Vein Thrombosis and treat me with Heparin.
I luckily do not have a fear of needles but I am not keen on looking at them when they poke my skin (why does it hurt a bit more when you do....) so I didn't have a song and dance when she informed me she was going to stab me there and then and I would have to stab myself daily until the full results on Thursday. 
I was having a moment of wondering if I could be an owl and turn my head enough to stab myself in the butt when she said the needle went in my tummy.  Instructions to pinch some skin resulted in a response from me of "Oh that's okay!  I have plenty of padding for that!" (See, I was getting over the shock now and moving into 'lets make a joke of everything' mode). 
For interest, in case this ever happens to you guys the needles are much smaller than those they do their vampire bit and take your blood so it doesn't hurt as much.  After full instructions, I got myself ready to go home complete with a 'sharps bin', a good idea at the best of time but when you have fluffers like mine that chew experimentally on anything they can find, a sharps bin is a great idea.  I should, as an aside, take wagers on how quickly Lily would get in it if she could reach it because she most definitely would seen as zips are no problem for her.
On my way out, I stopped to thank the nurses and doctors and said I hoped their arguments for, at least, portable air conditioners was successful soon and asked what I could do to help reduce leg swelling.  The usual; raise your legs above your heart position (not something I can do well at work I imagine), take small walks each hour (my boss is going to love me - another thing I can annoy her with seen as I appear to be doing that a lot lately) and drink plenty of fluids.  My question/statement "I assume by fluids you do not mean Coca Cola or Pepsi Max...." met with a resounding no.
Hubby went into protection mode as soon as I updated him on progress and has refused to let me do anything all weekend except stay in bed and raise my feet, sleep a lot and an occasional play on the computer - though after 2 hours the right leg swells so I take myself back upstairs. I should be grateful, apparently, that he let me put some washing on and transfer clothes to the dryer!
However, I have a fasting blood test early this morning and Freddy Fluff is at the vet as he is still nibbling his wrist and elbow indicating his pains are back, and Hubby has gone to work.  Which means.....I can do some cleaning without him worrying himself into a heart attack.
So there we go peeps, my Friday was very busy and weekend less was yours?

Friday, 19 July 2013

I only went for swollen legs

I'm not sure if I have twittered about my swollen ankles before but having had ankles so swollen that they wouldn't look out of place on one of those people who need cutting out of their houses so they can go to the hospital I thought I had best get it checked out. Beautiful B compounded it by saying "That is just not normal". 

An innocent visit to the GP because the ankles are so swollen that I am in pain at the end of the day where I thought they would tell me I was too fat and too lose weight and all hell breaks loose! 

An ECG later because I was breathless when the GP saw me after walking up some stairs and measuring and prodding my calves didn't result in me being told I needed to lose half my body weight.

Instead I was referred immediately to hospital for blood tests to check for a clot in my legs or pelvis!  

As you can imagine when they took my blood pressure it was 156/120 and again when they thought they had calmed me down after the minor anxiety attack. 

So I sit here waiting for blood tests reassured that the nurses questions indicate a minor (at best) risk of DVT. After trying to read and nodding off (shut up! It is 30 degrees in this hospital that does not believe in air conditioning in the urgent care unit) I am almost willing to be admitted just to get on an air conditioned ward. 

My ankles are still swollen and resembling huge sausages but I am beginning to believe they are going to tell me it is because I am fat - which for once I would be relieved at even if it doesn't result in a cure for sausage ankles. 

I've been here waiting for 1 hour 15 mins since the bloods were taken and my blood pressure has reduced to only slightly elevated as opposed to being so high I may have been ready to explode. 

Having been promised an hours wait for blood results I am wondering whether I will be out in time to collect A and Beautiful B to see Monsters University at the cinema. Maybe my blood pressure will increase again the nearer I get to cinema time but find myself still in hospital..... 

Who knew that it was possible for ankles to feel tight!  Maybe this is what sausage meat feels like inside the sausage skin? 

I may just cry if they admit me!  After all, expecting a normal GP appointment I left a bag at work which had a very important valuable in it.... The third book in the vampire series I am reading. 

My OCD is not going to cope well if I have to read a different book in a hospital bed!

Thursday, 18 July 2013

In which Thursday is Monday

Oh come on, you know by now that I at least try to do posts in advance.  I claim to be all professional and organised and I am but only for 7.24 hours a day, or any time that I am at work as I spend far too many days doing far too many more hours than I am paid for to be frank and open with you.

Anyhoo, today (Monday remember) was my first day back to work after 2 weeks leave which is always 20 ways of tortourous but to add to that I had a complete site move to cope with, moving boxes to unpack, 200 emails to respond to after desperately seeing how many I could delete as just plain stupid on top of still making sure that Hubby got out of bed early enough to have a whine about having to use a bicycle to get to work because our company had dared to shut the site I worked on which just happened to be handy as I could drop him off on the way....breathe. 

It only got worse when I got into work after finding out that my bosses, bosses, boss was going to be sat next to me (I can at least live in hope that the new regime of hot desking will mean that she sometimes will be sat elsewhere....okay most of the time) and she thought it would be a good idea to have a dig at me before I even had the first box unpacked.  After having had a complete stomach full of it before I went on leave I was just not in the mood for it today.

All is not lost however though because today (yes, I am now on Thursday just to confuse you) I will have been on a train on Wednesday to Birmingham to attend an all day meeting.  2 plus hours there and then again to get home makes for lots of time away from the office and plenty of time to catch up on some reading.  It has to be far more relaxing than being in the office surely?! Hopefully it provided sopme much needed half week respite to give me more strength for the rest of the week.

I wonder if I can read a whole novel in the 5 hours travelling time - yes surely....


Wednesday, 17 July 2013

Painting Conversations

While a but bored painting fences last week I started an email trail with Hubby who was working hard at his proper job (as opposed to the unpaid one which is keeping me safe and himself sane) before he received my first email.... 

Dear Mr Hubby, 

I think it only fair to give you sufficient warning.......

It is unlikely that all the fence panels will be finished today because it has taken me until 12.40pm to paint 4 1/2 panels and at this rate (including the estimated time to paint the concreate panels and posts cream) I expect it will take me a full 2 days, possibly more, could be 4 days depending on how bored I get.

Because it is boring I sometimes find myself thinking that fence painting is really a mans job but seen as you are working so hard 6 days a week so I can buy pretty flowery things for the garden it is the least that I can do.

I will forgoe cleaning the house and ignore all the bits of freddy fluff and bits of new carpet that are lying about in order to see if putting this years coat of wood protector makes it look any different than it did when I started - though the bits that had no paint on them now do but that might be because they are still wet.

You will be much relieved to know that I took 30 minutes this morning after engaging the miniscule part of my brain that stores common sense to cover the very expensive indian stone paving with rubbish bags (empty of course) and masking tape before I started painting.  I knew it was a good idea when I realised that I needed to wash my glasses and remove the paint splatter from them.  At the same time I thanked my lucky stars I had not inserted contact lenses this morning because I am not convinced I could drive myself to Accident and Emergency with only one working eyeball.

You will be less happy to know that I have not 'creamed myself up' (as you so eloquently put it) with suncream this morning for a number of reasons:
1.  it is cloudy with only a bit of sun
2.  it is getting cloudier (and woe betides the individual responsible for any rain later today)
3.  I am facing away from any sun so the only thing likely to get tanned are the back of my arms, which quite frankly, could do with some colour
4.  I am coated in that much paint I suspect it is doing a better job than the sun cream would.

Now turning to the less interesting stuff:
1.  Did you get back in contact with the man about the chair and microwave?
2.  Have you let C (my brother) know that we will indeed be at his house on Saturday at around 4.15pm?
3.  Have you rang mum and told her that I will collect her at 8am on Saturday to take her shopping?

and finally, I love you, until all of the stars fall out of the sky.

Realising that he was going to have to respond to have any hope of eventually being left alone to earn his salary, Hubby replied with:

No wonder its taking you so long to paint the fence because:
a: you're emailing me, and;
b: you're getting more on yourself than you are the fence panels!!

re the less interesting stuff:
a: not yet haven't seen him but am on it!!! (he is still on it....)
b: change of plan as only just found out no overtime this weekend
c: phoned mum last night (IN FRONT OF YOU!!!) (oopsie, there goes my memory again!) to tell her re shopping.  lol
have a thought around that now though as overtime is off, will discuss with you later
loves u too
As you can see he is a man of far  less words than I! 
Naturally I replied (because we women like the last word) ....with this:

I have far too much to do to waste time thinking about days which are a day away. As for wasting time emailing you I am sure they say that communication is the secret of a fantastic marriage. 

Hubby already bored with my twittering replied very simply with: 

What's for dinner?

Thinking 'this man is cruising for a brusing, I replied rather quickly with:

Tea is whatever you are making. 
K had a thought. (It took a while, I was now responding to his previous request for me to have a think about the weekend plans) Turns out I can multi task at home as well as work. We will take mum shopping Sat afternoon and them go to C's after that. 
Oh and seen as you are no longer working overtime this weekend there is a paintbrush with your name on it when you get home 
Told u I loved you! Xxx

I could tell he was on the ropes with the next response:

Thought I binned that personalised paintbrush??????
What is there for me to make dinner with?
Thinking that he had received and understood my desire for him to help me paint fence panels my response went like this: 

No I have not binned said paintbrushes. Or you may have done and I have ordered you a brand new set personalised with "Mr Hubby - Ribena's world and handyman when she had undertaken a job too big for herself". As you can tell they are big ass brushes! 

As for dinner, no idea, I am sure you will find something with which to work your magic xxxx

Hubby clearly thinking about his bike ride home in 26 degrees of heat simply said:
Chinese or 5 star (kebab takeaway) ?

My response told him I knew him well by now: 

Now I knew you were going to say takeaway!  It is getting sunnier and hotter so it is probably the best thing to do especially if you are going to help me in the garden after tea.  I say say 5 star because I fancy a chicken kebab.  I need to use up all these extra calories I have burned today!  I mean it must be 100s I have burnt. 

Of course this conversation spanned over 2 hours because I was painting fences and Hubby was attempting to get work done despite my interruptions and the sun had finally decided to show her face permanently. 

So what was the outcome?  Chicken Kebab and I resumed painting fences on my own as the bike ride home had nearly killed my husband. 

The morals of this long winded tail of a loving conversation between Hubby and wife?  
1. Tell your husband what you want him to make for tea; do not give him choices! 
2.  Despite hinting and finally telling him you wanted him to help you in the garden, if he hates DIY the likelihood of it happening are about 2% at best without the use of physical or mental torture!