Tuesday, 17 April 2012

In Memory of Mia

Today is Mia's 4th birthday.  Today Beautiful B may have seen Mia to celebrate her birthday with the rest of the family, including her father.  Unfortunately, Mia and her dad are celebrating her birthday together elsewhere and everyone else is left with mere memories.

By a stroke of luck (I will call it someone elses stupidity!) Beautiful B is seeing her other sister today and she is determined to make it extra special for her.  She has saved her wage and is taking the little one to the zoo - it may be raining but I am sure they will enjoy splashing in the puddles as they make their way round the zoo.

Beautiful B is determined to make sure that her sister remembers Mia even though she is 2 and so she has bought a little birthday cake and some candles and when they have their lunch they will sing Happy Birthday to Mia and remember the happy times.

Following that Beautiful B will make her way to the grave with a helium balloon and a present to wish Mia a beautiful birthday in private. 

Before I left for work I hugged Beautiful B as hard as could be and was, once again, amazed at her strength....that she could smile so soon after such a tragedy is truly remarkable and on such a day as this.  She may have lost her dad and sister within 4 days of each other but seeing her sister and sharing her memories with her has given Beautiful B something to concentrate on today. 

I am sure that if there is a heaven that Tom and Mia are dancing up a storm and celebrating her birthday in style.  If there is a heaven, the one good thing that has come out of this is that Tom gets to be with Mia all the time and protect her the way he couldn't when she was alive.  Although I cannot take her pain away and knowing that neither of her loved ones are suffering as they did when they were alive does not give her much comfort as it is all still so very raw, Beautiful B still draws some strength from that knowledge. 

Beautiful B's committment in preserving their memory for her younger sister a true testimony of her character, her love for others and her complete unselfishness.  To spend today concentrating on her other sister instead of letting the sadness envelop her demonstrates her strength of will and commitment to ensuring that her other sister gets the best possible future she can. 

I am so very proud of my Beautiful B.  I am not sure that in her position I would be as strong as she is being and that makes her such a better person that I could wish to be.  If there is a heaven, Tom is watching over Beautiful B and knowing that even if he felt he had not achieved anything else in his life that we left a legacy in Beautiful B and that, even if in a small way, she will change her part of the world as a result.

Happy Birthday Mia.  I am so glad that your smiling face, happy smiles and "I wuv you Beff's" will live on forever in our memories and thankfully in the videos that Beautiful B has to treasure.  No longer will you suffer, you will not struggle through life but will forever dance and sing with your dad and be Beautiful B's guardian angel - we couldn't wish for a better one.  Give your daddy a kiss from me.

Beautiful B - you are my shining light.  I only hope that I show you how much love, joy and respect I have for you.  You sit on that pedestal, along with Angel and in you I see the strength of character that I have hoped and wished that I will be able to instill in you.  Yes you have your bad days but you soldier on and amaze everyone with your determination.  You know I wish every moment of every day that I could take your pain away and leave you with just the happy memories and that I will walk that long road with you until you see that light at the end of the tunnel. 

I am so very lucky to have you and you make my life complete.  You are every breath that I take and when you hurt it's difficult to breathe but in your stength of late you have demonstrated that if your dad, hubby and I achieve nothing else in life we suceeded because of who you are.  You may be able to see Hubby and I smile at and with you and see the pride in our eyes but know that if there is a heaven, your daddy looks at you like that every single moment of every single day and is so very proud of you.  Love you baby until all the stars fall out of the sky...xxx

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