Friday, 20 April 2012

Wife Swap:USA

I have to admit I do enjoy watching this programme - it's car crash TV at its best. 

Yesterday's episode involved a woman from South Carolina whose hubby was a cuddly gun-loving bloke who bought home his kill and placed them on the walls of his house for posperity.  This wasn't the reason they hadn't shared a bed for 11 years; no that was the snoring to which I can fully relate having been woken up by a foghorn 4 times last night!  Being family orientated and the matriarch of the family, her house was spotless, the children fell in line and obeyed her every command and the family regularly spent quality time with 53 close relatives.  

This woman was swapped with what the cuddly husband eventually called a "tree hugger" after she forced him to take down the confederate flag and remove the dead things from the walls of his home when it was "her week".  Yes, she was an environmentalist and an animal lover. She cried before she even got out of the car on arrival after spying the confederate flag, and again when she saw the gun cupboard in the hallway through the front door.  Then she cried in front of every dead animal on the wall.

The South Carolina mum would have cried had she not been so horrified at the state of the house she went to because the "tree hugger" didn't agree with cleaning - she was happier to lie in bed until 10 am and then sit in a chair all day watching TV and did not agree with cleaning - maybe that was some form of environmentalism but more likely just plain laziness.  Either they smoked a lot or there was over a years supply of cigarette butt ends in a barrel in the back yard....

Cuddly gun-toting male loved his new wife for the first week, her having not let on how horrified she was with the guns and the dead animals.  At the point he told the camera, "I wish I had a wife as thin and pretty as her" I told my TV I would have filed for divorce and Beautiful B almost spat her coffee out in disgust.  His love turned to hatred the second week as usually happens.

At the final meeting, the "tree hugger" bawled her eyes out when she found out her dogs had been made to stay in the back yard during the day.  She told the matriarch that she did not know how she lived with the cuddly man because he "sucked her dry in 10 days".  After the matriarch told her how horrified she was at the state of "tree huggers" house she then said "Well, now I can see you two are made for each other."  On her return home, the family became vegetarians and she determined she "was the best mom on the whole planet" but still did not get up to make her daughter's breakfast before school let alone take her there. 

The USA version is so much more fun than the UK version.  I am sure we have more than our fair share of polar opposites and estremeists but I am guessing that our so called "English reserve" prevents us from wanting it displayed on national television.

I may be woken up 4 times a night with the foghorn who is my hubby and I may complain to myself once a year or so that I do the majority of the cleaning in the house and I certainly find the constant size of the ironing pile an irritation while it waits patiently for Hubby to do it because I cannot but I know how lucky I am and as my mum would say "which side my bread is buttered on".  After all, how many hubby's do the families ironing...

I wouldn't swap my life and certainly not my family for a day, let alone 2 weeks.  In the meantime, Beautiful B and I will continue to watch the show in fascination at just how different people can be.

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