Friday, 30 May 2014

You know you are going to have a bad day when.....

....everything starts to go wrong despite your best intentions to clean and get jobs done:

  • Hubby decides he wants a lie in so you are already running late after driving him to work;
  • You decide to fit the replacement mirror that some numpty knocked off your car a week ago except you can get the mirror into the attachment thingy but the attachment thingy can't be easily attached to the mirror holder thingy or;
  • you can get the attachment thingy fitted to the mirror holder thingy but then can't get the mirror into the mirror attachment thingy because the fitting is so tight;
  • You can hoover any carpets because the hoover is suddenly not working but apparently it was working the last time the daughter used it and has miraculously decided to stop working on its own after she finished with it;
  • The wires look loose on the hoover plug so you wonder if the wires need attaching back to the plug properly except you can't do that because the screw is in so tight that you have knackered the screw head with the screw driver;
  • Having noticed your daughter or her boyfriend have dropped what looks suspiciously like hot chocolate down the stair bannister you go to clean it off only to find other bits of spilt coffee on the wall;

  •  This is where the post got to and it went in drafts after I went to bed exhausted and frustrated.  
     And then I promptly forgot about it.
    And then I find it when scheduling another post I have just written and think.....'not again!'
    And that is why I need to start listing everything I have to do every day.
     Because I forget.
    And then I look, and feel, useless.
    Having read this back I really was not having a good day was I?

Thursday, 29 May 2014

What to do with a spare room

My last news about my little Beautiful B (in 'Why, hello there!' ) was that she asked for a car for her birthday and was more likely to get money towards driving lessons.  Well now that has changed.

Next week I get a break away from my child.  Having had a difficult few months she decided to go on holiday.  To Corfu. With her boyfriend. It will be June and therefore just short of boiling but now she is older I should try not to worry about her ability to realise she might need a stronger sun lotion.  

Long gone are the days where I can decide to just book myself a holiday; in fact I had about 6 months of being able to decide that before I decided to do the grown up thing and move in with my boyfriend, buy a house and have a family.  Beautiful B should use that ability to it's full advantage.  

I love my little Beautiful B to bits and wouldn't change her for the world but it would have been nice to be able to do that for a while longer than I did.  But then we all want to grow up so fast when we are kids, don't we?

Despite being able to see the advantages of being able to spend the money (and obviously save a bit) before she settles down she and Ry are thinking about moving in together at the beginning of next year.  I am not worried about their relationship because they are so strong and will have been together for 3 years by then but I think they are going to be shocked at the bills to pay. didn't stop me and if I have learned anything it is that kids don't listen and then you get to 40 and find yourself saying to your mum 'you were right' because you had done exactly the same thing.  That is young love for you.....

So, I will be childless except when she comes round asking for money, or to play with the dogs, or to have her tea cooked.  And I will have a spare room.  Now what to do with it.  I found myself thinking about this yesterday when I was day-dreaming.

Obviously I need a room that guests can sleep in; no more having to go home overnight Rachel but as that will not be overly often I thought it might be nice to get a fold up bed - one of them in a big comfy couch.  I could put a TV in there and take myself upstairs to watch TV and leave the TV downstairs for Hubby and his sport.  I could remove the TV from our bedroom because he lives up there at this time of year (I am almost sure there are only 2 hours in every 24 when sport is not on.....).

I could put the games station up there and the computer (though that would necessitate a new wireless computer) and it could become a games room - well it would if I didn't put my office up there which would make sense as it is in the dining room at the moment.

And the extra wardrobe space....let's not forget about that as my 12.5foot wardrobes which are from floor to ceiling are just not enough!  And the additional storage I had built into the back, lets not forget about that! I could have shelves put in that roll out so that I could choose much easier which pair of shoes to wear.....

mmmmmmm, in reality none of that is going to happen because this year's funds are already ear-marked so the most that can happen is the office moves upstairs, the rocking chair also and so it will become my readiing room while we save for a guest couch/bed.

Ooooookkkkk, so I disappeared on my lunch and spent a bit of time on pinterest looking for spare room ideas and so far:

It's a small room so putting the bed away is tempting.....

See the nice comfy couch?!  I can see myself curled up watching Criminal Minds
Would need a comfier chair.....
But then I got carried away and thought about the space under our stairs which currently has my lounge chair in it.  The room is big enough to section that off and here would go a lovely little snuggly office.

And then I saw this!!!!!

Two different positions to lie down 
Now I have an attic space that houses nothing except an empty obsolete water tank, a spare suitcase and about 20 boxes of Christmas decorations.  So this would be ideal!  The Christmas decorations could be stored in the space under the eaves and voila - my own home cinema! 

And so you see, this is obviously what parents start dreaming about when children are thinking of flying the nest......not that I won't miss her; it will be much quieter for a start because the child needs hearing aids if her TV volume is anything to go by - of course I will, so maybe what I am doing is distracting myself.....

Wednesday, 28 May 2014

Facts of the day - well not today so A round up of facts of the day - there that's better.....

Yes, I agree with you wholeheartedly.  It has been a while; an age in fact.  I have no excuse other than work and how dare it get in the way of daily posts.  If only I could find 30 minutes between writing funding models and trying to convince others to make decisions rather than dither about.  Working from 7am until 11pm is not good for me…or my skin and at my age I am fighting a losing battle with the latter.

So after an arduous telekit where I have come out without any more work to do on top of what I already have (though I have offered my assistance if needed because…well, it looks good) and trying to see my dining room table desk I have found a bunch of daily facts from my calendar that I have been saving to post about.  So without further ado……

·        People with Cotard’s syndrome can suffer from a variety of delusions, which range from a belief that they are missing vital body parts or vital organs to thinking they are dead, have lost their soul or do not even exist.  The illness is found mostly in individuals with schizophrenia or bipolar disorder.
o       Suddenly dreaming about screwing my own teeth out with a pair of pliers doesn’t seem so bad
·        The human stomach must produce a new lining every day to protect itself from its own acid
o       Here’s hoping it never goes on strike
·        The world’s oceans contain enough salt to cover every continent to a depth of almost 500 feet
·        A polar bear can rip the head off a human with one swipe of its paw
o       And that is why, my dear friend Rachel, your fiancĂ© looked at you in complete disbelief when you went legging after one for a photograph!
He he - Rachel just texted to point out she was chasing a brown bear not a polar bear. Yes Rachel because that makes sense too ;-) 
·        Some scientists view love in terms of addiction, and they might be right.  One study discovered that monogamous pairing is based in the same region of the brain as drug addicion.  Losing your love can be like experiencing withdrawl. 
o       Well I struggle to give up fizzy drinks and sweets so I can only guess what I am going to be like when Hubby pops his clogs
·        Pigs can become alcoholics
o       And so can little Cala fluff who can tell the difference between a fizzy drink and cider bottle
·        ‘Dork’ is the proper term for a whale p*n*s, hence the derogatory term
·        US citizens are not legally permitted to come into contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles according to Title 14, section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented in 1969
o       As far as I am aware there is no similar law in the UK so I can happily introduce myself as a long lost family member
·        Telephones carry the most germs in an office, followed by desks, microwave door handles, water fountain handles and computer keyboards
o       Cue Rachel and Angel reaching for the antibacterial wipes
·        And it gets worse Rachel: Demodex mites, or follicle mites, live in human skin.  By some estimates you have a colony of 1-2,000 living in your skin right now.  When you touch someone or share fabrics with them you are trading follicle mites
o       And all of my nerve endings up my back are suddenly driving me mad
o       It gives a whole new meaning to sharing everything in life with your loved one
·        People who live in big cities make more ear wax
o       How does some researcher wake up one day and decide to test this hypothesis?!
·        The rare neurological disorder alien hand syndrome (AHS) causes the sufferer’s hands to move independently, without his control over the action.  People with AHS have been known to punch or choke themselves and tear at their clothing, and may even need to use the healthy hand to curb the alien hand.  The condition typically arises after trauma to the brain, brain surgery or stroke
·        Roughly 100 people die every year by choking on ball point pens
o       And that is the reason why you should never have a pen in your mouth while thinking and leaning back on a chair
·        In 2008, an Illinois woman had her big toe chewed off by her pet sausage dog (dachshund) while napping.  Because of diabetes-related nerve damage in her extremities, the woman felt nothing and slept through the attack.
o       Never again will I moan about Cala fluff trying to lick me to death in a morning

So there you have it folks; proof that we live in a strange strange world.  No wonder I feel completely at home here.

Thursday, 8 May 2014

Dozy moments

If there is one thing that I have managed to pass onto my daughter it is my ability to say dozy things before I have engaged my brain and thought about it.
Latest examples of my genes being passed to my Beautiful B:
R:     Just received a text from my aunty.  She says she just saw a mouse run across the room so she is going to get a cat.
BB:  What is a cat going to do?!
After doing a 12 mile bike ride in training for a 60 mile bike challenge:
BB:  My bum feels heavy.
Me:  So your bum muscles don't feel tight then, just heavy?
Watching a quiz show on TV with a question about Opera:
BB:  Is Opera it's own language?
No response, just laughing with her.
I love my Beautiful B so much.  She is so cute and comments such as this aren't because she isn't clever, just that she is dizzy and doesn't think before asking a question.  Having said that I can't tell what Operatic singers are saying and as I don't listen to that kind of music she would never have had the opportunity to discover that they sing in all languages.
Similarly we have dogs not cats and I have obviously neglected to tell her a lot when she was growing up including how cats chase mice (and birds) and leave them as presents on the doorstop for you (don't they Rachel...).
She is obviously in a world of her own and our latest conversation proves it!  Beautiful B is 20 years old next month and yes, I have absolutely no idea where the last 20 years have gone.  Her boyfriend has finally been sensible and instead of buying used cars from an auctioneer he has decided to buy a brand new car, to which Beautiful B and I breathed a sigh of relief after the last one set itself on fire. 
His purchase of a vehicle has, however, prompted Beautiful B to decide to take up her driving lessons again which she put on hold last year.  She came in the room I work in this morning and told me she was going to book driving lessons and had a question about her birthday present.
I am expecting a request of money to put towards some driving lessons for her and thinking to myself about whether to tell her we had intended to buy her something different.  Different being a pair of proper cycling shorts, amongst other bike related things, so her bum does not get heavy so quickly.
Instead I was asked for a car!  Makes sense now that her boyfriend has bought one; after all, his will be on finance but will cost him less each month than a procession of old and knackered cars constantly requiring mechanical help.  Luckily he has gone for a small economical car so I don't have to worry about any drag racing. And of course, if he has one then Beautiful B will obviously start thinking how great it would be to have a little run around.
Today's kids seem to want everything immediately don't they?
So I told her no!  Asked her how much she thought we earned and whether she thought I would be driving round in a 6 year old car if I could afford a new one.  To which her response was that an old one would be fine.  I know this was tongue in cheek and she knew the answer before she asked the question but then she is a trier!
After 'negotiation' I have offered to discuss with Hubby whether we should contribute to driving lessons instead of buying her bicycle equipment that will help her training.  With a not so gentle reminder that as children get older the amount spent on them for Christmas and Birthdays reduces.
Or is it just my family that doesn't spend most of their savings on their children when they get older unless it is a 'special' birthday such as a 21st or 40th? 

Wednesday, 7 May 2014

Why, hello there!

Good morning peeps! 
The 28th April was the last time I posted anything.  I could say that I have been doing lots but although I may feel that I have been it is probably not in many other peeps books. 
You know when you seem to be chasing your own tail and getting nowhere; the days where you sit at your desk or in a big comfy chair at home and decide that you have achieved nothing that day despite the best of endeavours?  Yep, I am experiencing that every single day.
I am chasing my tail at work as both procurements I am working on are ramping up; one of them has a lot of back and forth motion going on and making both me and the colleague I am working closely with dizzy!
We may be getting a slight reprieve but again that might just be wishful thinking.  Next week practically the whole team is being pulled on another procurement to do some bid evaluations as they are too complex for some of the volunteers we regularly use. 
On the bright side of next weeks work I am staying in Sheffield for 3 nights and I am insistent that I will take myself off to Meadowhall to go to the cinema and of course if I get side tracked window shopping (I am a woman, it is only natural) there is always a later showing to go to.
Of course, it wouldn't be right to go to Sheffield and not take some club accounts with me to do, hence travelling by car rather than train this time.  Even my big suitcase will not hold 4 full A4 leverarch files in it.  The year end is almost upon us so I must ensure that the accounts are fully up to date and balancing. 
Cleaning up at home also seems a bit futile lately - that has made me think that cleaning is a bit like being abducted by one of the Borg!  'Resistance is futile' because you can't resist/avoid (choose word depending on whether you have OCD cleaning tendancies) having to do it but then a day or two later we have no choice but to do it all again. Like going on a roller-coaster because you can't not want to but knowing you are going to feel mildly squeamish afterwards.....
Sorry, I went missing there - Cala decided she was in a bad mood and took it out on Freddy.  A stupid thing to do if you concentrated on the fact that she is at least 8 times smaller than he is but if we take into account she is tiny and probably knows to knock one of his arthritic ankles so he goes down like one of the Star Wars long legged walking things (I could google their name if I could be bothered but I am not) he really had the disadvantage.

Freddy is now led to the right of me so that I can intervene if she goes a bit mental again.  I very much doubt she will seen as she is comatose in front of the fire at the moment.
The worst thing I chose to do these last two weeks is start playing a game on my iPad called (seriously) 'Meow Meow Star Acres'.  Little cats looking suspiciously like Hello Kitty run around planting fruits and veg and tending to cows and pigs to make ingredients for meals.  Of course, more Hello Kitty characters cook the meals with the sole purpose of selling it to other Hello Kitty's in the local shop.
Of course, I got a little addicted to this despite to mind-numbingly simple format and to make matters worse then downloaded Farmville 2 which I have become equally addicted to and prefer.  To top it off I invited Rachels mum to playand now she is ddicted. 

Hubby is none too pleased as I have become 'attached to the iPad' which is apparently completely different to being a great conversationalist (sarcasm obviouisly) when attached to a lap top and constantly check the football/snooker/golf/darts (insert any sport related activity here) results!
So altogether the blog took a back seat as did the cross-stitch both of which means I have been rather naughty.
I did, however, remember to take Hubby to Liverpool FC on his birthday to meet Phil Thompson, an ex Liverpool FC player and manager, and have a tour of the stadium during which he had a proper 'WOW' moment after he got to shake his hand and have his photograph taken with him.  I even thought he was going to cry at one point.
I am not sure I can beat that birthday present in the future so maybe it was a stupid thing to do!

Now I have to go as Cala has decided it is time to beg my forgiveness for picking on Fred.