Friday, 26 July 2013

How to panic a husband in one easy step

Granted it is easier than most with my Hubby because he is a worrier by nature!

First get swollen ankles:
  • Take yourself to the GP expecting to be given water tablets and told to lose weight.
  • End up at the hospital for blood tests for a suspected clot in your leg.
  • Stab yourself daily with a prescribed needle for a week, return to the hospital for a scan, for it to be inclusive and fill the prescription for another week of injections before another scan.
  • Oh I forgot......have suspected angina, have your anti-inflammatories taken off you pending tests with the cardiologist and wait patiently for the pain in your hands and wrists to kick off.  As well as pain in the ankles each morning (the nurse at the hospital will say 'Oh that is likely a bit of arthritis' like it isn't really another thing to pile to your already large list of illnesses.
Right have you done all of that?

Then plan to take some rubbish to the refuse tip, nip into the social club to collect the club's funds to be banked, and finally take your mother in law shopping making sure that Hubby knows you are shopping at 1am and should be home by 2.30pm.

Right, now respond to an invite for a drink, by text, to your brothers house and nip round there after shopping because the social club was shut and you need to return at 3.30pm; after all they are only 5 minutes away from each other and your house is at the other end of town.

As usual, talk the hind leg off a donkey with those you love and be given a large glass of water and somewhere to elevate your leg by your brother.  Answer your pmobile hone at 4pm. 

Hubby will be on the end of the line saying "Where are you?"

"Ooooh, C invited me to his for a drink and seen as I am in that part of town I accepted."

Hubby will be silent for a beat or two and then say "Next time would you let me know as I have returned home to an empty house expecting you to be in at 2.30pm after shopping and panicked because you are ill and shouldn't be galavanting around town."


Lesson learned.

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