Saturday, 20 February 2016

Ribenaisms - May 2013

I have been told on more than many an occasion that I use the silliest phrases ever and randomly spout what is in my head at the time and honestly if you could see all the tiny aliens bouncing around my head then you would realise just how much rubbish I can spout and why.

I thought it might be an idea to try and log at least some of my Ribenaisms over the past few months, hopefully what will be, your entertainment.

  • "When Hubby's hair grows it resembles a furry golf ball."
    • Hubby: Really, a furry golf ball?  So pray tell me, what does a furry golf ball look like and what would it's use be?
  • "Oh look!  C has a fridge exactly the same as ours!"
    • Hubby: Really?  Not a freezer then?
    • Me: No a freezer!  Oh, did I say fridge?
    • Hubby: Yes 
    • Me: Well, it began with an F.
    • Hubby: (Walks away shaking his head)
  • "Dada da dada PUPPY POWER!" (anytime I manage to solve a problem I have been trying to solve)
  • "I didn't forget the handwash when I came upstairs!  I have remembered it but just left it on the table downstairs."
  • "I may have to investigate prices for garden sliders at lunch time."
    • Hubby: For what?
    • Me: Price and delivery time of course!
    • Hubby: Nooooooooooooo, you barm pot!  I mean what are they and why do we need them?
    • Me (thinking he was being forgetful as I clearly told him about them at the weekend when sat in the sun in C's garden): They are a garden swing but not on a swing, they are a rocker. Oh wait, I meant glider not slider.
    • Hubby: (No response, just a knowing look) 
  • While watching a game show:
    • Me: The young bloke may well be quite intelligent but sitting with his mouth open catching fish through most of it sure makes him look the opposite
    • Hubby: Do you mean 'with his mouth open catching flies' by any chance?
    • Me: Oh yes.....
  • While driving and discussing why Beautiful B when out a different security gate on the left rather than the one nearest our front door (on the right):
    • Me: I guess it makes sense for her to go out the left one as it is nearest to Preston Old Road which will get her to the hospital quicker than going out the right one nearest the front gate.
    • Hubby (when we got to the end of the road):  Why are you turning left when we need to turn right to get to work?
    • Me:  Oh, it is because I was talking about Beautiful B going out of the gate on the left.
    • Hubby:  That makes sense then.....(while rolling his eyes)
  • While replacing the sheets and duvet cover on our bed after coming upstairs and putting a brand new sheet down ready for use:
    • Me: Now where have I put that sheet?!  I only put it down 1 minute ago.
    • Hubby:  You mean this one? (as he reaches for the sheet I had balance on the fan no more than a minute before).
  • On answering an email to one of my work colleagues on Friday and then receiving another email from him:
    • Colleague: Aren't you supposed to be off work today?
    • Me: (Having furiously checked the team's work calendar on line and realising I had booked the day off 2 weeks ago......) Yes, but I needed to make sure that I did not have to re-allocate a tele-conference next week for my project.
    • Colleague: You are too dedicated.
    • Me: Nooooooo.  Just didn't want to have to sort it out on Tuesday and risk people's calendars getting booked up by then.  Now I am going to QA my daughter's latest assignment.
There are more.....and there are bound to be even more by the end of the day....

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