Thursday, 23 January 2014

Contract Cross-Eyed!

It's 7pm on a Tuesday evening and I am sure I can think of something better to do than trawl through all the emails, finance documents, specification and invitation to tender documents for a procurement done in 2011 to do a cursory check that we have a sufficient audit trail for the VAT decision made.  You know, something better like picking my eyeballs out with a toothpick......

Remind me again why I decided that a 2 year stint learning all about VAT and how it affects government contract would be a great idea.

I have spent nearly 3 hours trawling through the documents and reading the specification and drawing up a nice excel table with my findings and VAT decision.  And that is just one contract out of 20 which apparently 'is the first half' of what I am to consider.

Of course being the freak that I am I can sit here and provide a list of why this exercise has been good for me.  For a start it gives me a level of confidence in my VAT understanding that I didn't have for 2 years and I am learning all about the documents I will soon be putting together for my own contracts.  My new manager thinks it's a great idea to give me a key work objective to upskill the commercial environment in it which could serve me well if I ever was stupid enough to want promotion.

Now you are all riveted aren't you?  Yes I suspect you are now wanting to shove those toothpicks underneath your finger nails.  After all, my confidence and knowledge level holds no interest for you guys.

So what else can I tempt you with?

The fact that I am listening to Christmas songs on the 21st of January?  The fact that it is an album of Christmas songs by a country music?  That I think their voices are lovely and gentle with that slight country twang to the tone of voice?  No?  Well, I thought that would have interested you.  After all, it may show that I am losing my marbles slowly.  On second reflection it may convince you never to read this blog again.

How about a story of how I was eating a family bag of Galaxy Bites earlier today and holding my hand stretched out to keep the bag open on my knee while I was playing a computer game with the other?  How that bag didn't stay on my hand and most of the bites dropped on the floor?  

I suspect you are not surprised by that at all; the fluff bags were though when they heard the clattering.  Within 2 milliseconds they were all started scurrying around to scoop them up.  Well except for Fredster Fluff who never gets involved in any shenanigans for fear of being told off.
How about how all 3 girlie fluffs then tried doggy handling my office chair out of the way to get the ones their little necks couldn't stretch too?  How about how Lily fluff has been intermittently trying to get to one she thinks is behind the computer desk and printer all afternoon?  How Abi thinks that as she is so much skinnier she can sneak in between the side of the office desk and wall to try and get to it without me noticing to get it when I am still sat in the office chair? 

How about how all 3 girlie fluffs then displayed a, what would have been impressive under any other circumstances, gang mentality not 20 minutes later when trying to convince me that time had stood still and it wasn't really 2pm but 3.30pm and time for their tea?  How I randomly shouted "SHUT UP! NO!" or that it had absolutely no effect whatsoever?  That it was probably the sugar kicking in that had them so excited because clearly they were not hungry because they had only just eaten so richly?

As you can tell I have been having fun today.


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