Thursday, 10 January 2013

She is taking to the skies!

For anyone that reads this blog regularly (and I know there are none of you but that doesn't matter as I talk to myself all the time) you will know that Beautiful B lost her dad in January last year.  Despite dying of liver disease he had not been a 'serious' drinker for more than 3 years and so the escalation of the disease was scary and something others should be aware of.

According to the statistics on the British Liver Trust website 50% of alcoholics will not develop liver disease despite drinking heavily where others will.  Similarly, others will develop liver disease by drinking significantly less than others.  That is not considering the myriad of other reasons that liver disease can occur.  

For every 1 person that gets a liver transplant 20 other people die before they can be saved.  Beautiful B's dad was one of those and it left her devastated especially after losing her 3 year old sister suddenly only 4 days before.

Beautiful B has had a horrendous year and the family has rallied around to help her through it and her BF, R has been astounding. Having lost both his mum and stepdad he has a wealth of experience dealing with grief that no 20 year old should have yet in a way (that makes me feel slightly guilty) I am glad that he had that experience to help both himself, Beautiful B and I though it.  In the same vein, Hubby knows what that pain feels like and is very honest with Beautiful B about how it never goes away, you just learn to live with it. this year Beautiful B has won 3 awards for her outstanding resilience and determination to do everyone, especially her dad proud, in getting the qualifications she wanted to be a nurse.  These 2 tragedies have strengthened that resolve and she has channelled her grief into doing positive things.  

Beautiful B's dad and I split when she was just 2 years old yet I insisted that he was given more access than my solicitor advised as I was petrified that she would grow up not knowing her dad; just because we couldn't live together did not mean that their relationship should suffer.  We have had our ups and down yet throughout it all her dad has credited my determination to give her a stable home and insist on a good education to give her the start in life he never had and I can only thank him for that kindness even during times we couldn't talk to each other without shouting.

Dealing with her grief I suggested channelling that anger and despair into working hard and not giving up on the one thing her dad was most proud of her achieving.  He would have hated her giving up her dream of nursing and she is so made for that job - her empathy and caring nature is something to be seen and I know she gets it from me but she has so much more of it than I.  

Now I know you are thinking that none of this has any relevance to the title but it does.... Beautiful B has managed to get herself in our local paper and the hospital press releases for her achievements.  Now yet again she is there again.  She decided that she would raise money for the British Liver Trust.  It is a lesser funded charity and lets face it, being brutally honest it is harder for them to get people to dig into their pockets for sponsorship etc because all people think about are alcoholics.  

She initially raised £250 mostly through the selling of cupcakes that she made me bake weekend after weekend.  Now she has gone so much further and is jumping out of a plane on Saturday to skydive from 10,000 feet to raise more money for the trust.  Unlike a lot of people she is not taking the cost of the skydive itself from the money raised; that she is funding on her own.

Of course, she is making me go with her!  Hubby is petrified that she is going to go splat and I am going to watch it happen - the worrier that he is and he is petrified for both of us but there is no way I am going to make her do it on her own when she wants me there no matter how petrified I am of watching her jump out of a plane relying on a guy strapped to her back and a piece of cloth tied to some cables.

So far she has raised £830 as a result of this jump and I can safely say that there is no-one prouder of her than I.  It is a way of dealing with her grief and her dad is on a pedastal at the moment (as any parent who dies should be) and that can sometimes be difficult to watch but everyone deals with grief in their own way and I will hold her hand all the way through it.

This month is going to be so very difficult for her.  The first Christmas and New Year without Mia and her dad were difficult and while everyone else celebrated the New Year I looked at Beautiful B and saw tears rolling down her face and my heart broke for her because I cannot make it better for her and every fibre of my being is screaming out to make the pain go away for her.  This month she has the first anniversaries to go through, Mia's death on the 24th and what would have been her dad's 42nd birthday that day and then his death on the 28th.  I have no idea how I am going to help her get through this, as ever I am probably going to wing it.  In the meantime, the skydive gives her something to concentrate on and something to be proud of - to turn such a tradegy into a beacon of hope for others.

I haven't written this in a bid to get more sponsorship for her, it's a legacy to Beautiful B, to her resilience, determination, empathy, power of love and hope she gives others and to her grief for two people she loved and lost too early.

Having said that....if you wish to donate a small amount to her cause then log onto the following webpage and follow the payment instructions.  A little message from you to her would be great.  She knows nothing of this blog; maybe its time that she finds out about it.


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