I am rudely woken during the night in pain and pill popping has increased this week. I have something other than Tramadol now so not as cuckoo as I could be. So the pain is likely to be contributing to the tiredness.
Today is my fortnightly day off work and I plan to spend over 2 hours with my hairdresser magically making the grey badger streak disappear. Then I may treat myself to some threading. Yes I did say treat and no I am no a masochist.
Let's call it a mini celebration of sorts as a move at work has been confirmed and so excel will not be used 99% of the time from the 18th November. While I have had to come to terms with the realisation that I trained to be an accountant for 4 years and medical reasons now dictate I cannot continue that in the strictest sense of the word I will be working in the commercial arena and having worked there years ago I know I enjoy it.
Although accepting the restrictions of the disability are much harder than I expected I am positive about my future career. It helps that my mentor of 8 years has hired me and has more faith in my abilities than I have!
I will be working from home some days as my new boss is more than happy to work around my disability and so the fluff bags will be happy with that.
I am turning the dining room into an office as the only time the dining table is used for conventional reasons is Christmas Day and so I have visions of working with the fire on and 4 dogs lined up in front if it fast asleep. I will have the biggest desk in my life and the dining table is huge but I bet I can fill it!
There may or may not be days where I work in my PJ's and just get dressed just before Hubby comes home. I mean it's only right to make an effort for the man I married.....
This week I will have managed to spend an evening each with 3 of my 4 best friends and along with Hubby they have help the de-frazzle my brain and to see that occurrences at work in what has been an extremely bad week are small when I have such wonderful family and friends. After all, family has always come before work and a career for me and always will.
So this week I choose to concentrate on the wealth of love I receive from those who know me best and not the feelings of injustice felt from the realisation that no matter what your intentions sometimes you cannot do right for wrong.
It takes the love of your family, friends and a conversation with another manager to make you realise that you are not the person with the problem and that no matter how hard you work you will not change the mind of those who have formed an incorrect and unfair perception of you and prefer not to make concessions for your disability.