Thursday, 16 May 2013

A plan to sleep

Doesn't that sound fabulous?!

I'm not the consistent of sleepers, as any of my friends will testify. I rarely sleep beyond 5am in the morning and the ability to wake early for work during the week and have a lie in at the weekend is something my head and body point blank refuse to do:

Me:     Please let me have a lie in!  Everyone else can!  I only went to bed 3 hours ago.
Me:     I think I am going to ignore you.
H&B:   Really, well here, let me make you want to turn over every 2-3 minutes because as you are only drifting through a light sleep it will wake you up each and every time.
Me:     Ggggrrr, stop it!
H&B:   Mmmmmm, she is in one of those moods.  Here Mrs Ribenaberry, realise your shoulder is sore and your hand is numb - with special thanks to Mr Slipped Disc for nipping the nerve again.
Mr SD: You are welcome, anytime.  In fact, I intend to send pain right to the middle of her hand later today regardless of whether she wakes now or later.
H&B:  Ooooh, you are such a tease.
Me:    Look, I will just turn over so I am not lying on the shoulder.  Oooh, Hubby is breathing in my face and as usual, there is no reason for it, but I can't breathe properly then. 
H&B:  If you go back to sleep I will give you a headache! Granted I cannot cause a migraine now but imagine how you are going to feel doing your cleaning and accounts with a headache. 
Me:   That is what my migraine drugs are for, they will shift it in an hour. (Snooze)
Cala: Yoo hoo, I am awake and my mission in life is to lick you to death and stand on your chest jiggling about until you me cuddles.  It does not matter that you are still sleepy.  I need to go bathroom in the back garden and when done trot back off to bed and snooze for another 3 hours while you are sufficiently awake to decide to start your jobs early.

See what I mean!

If you ask me if I am a morning or night person there is no easy answer ('Really?'  I hear you say 'I would never have guessed')  I think I might be both - I am up early in a morning and prefer to stay up until 1-2am in the morning.  I do that for 4-5 days and then I crash.

Take this week for example:   After long days of 7am - 7pm in front of a PC for all of it except a 1/2 hour lunch I arrived home at 7.30pm on Friday, apparently looking like a zombie to find Hubby cooking my tea.  

After asking for a big bear hug and eating my tea I took myself to bed and was asleep by 8.15pm.  I woke at 5am on Saturday, watched TV until 9am and then took myself back to bed to catch up on some Bizarre ER.  I couldn't stay awake so giving in I set the alarm at 10am for 12.30pm so I could take the fluff bags to the groomers and went back to the land of nod.

I was back in bed by 9pm that night, awake at 5am (thanks to Abi fluff) on Sunday morning and in bed again by 9pm on Sunday night. My normal routine is to stay awake until stupid o'clock Monday to Thursday night but I am hoping that by the time you are reading this I have listened to common sense and decided to sleep well because THE PLAN for the weekend looks like this:

On Friday, although a short day at work Hubby and I have the Snooker League Presentation Night to attend; Hubby is in one of the teams and I am obliged to go as I am their Treasurer.  It helps that I know Hubby's team well but it makes for a long and drunken night where a migraine pill is beneficial before I go to sleep to ensure a non-hangover the next morning.  

Saturday I am at work on overtime - a bid to get the first draft of the accounts to the auditors in time so lots and lots of concentration on words and numbers doing sense checks (Yes, I did fall about laughing when they asked if I, of all people, could do a sense check).

I MUST go home at 4pm to have some tea and go straight to bed without passing go or switching a TV on because I must be awake at 3am in the morning.  No I am not going to rob graves but I may well feel like I belong in one by 5am. 

Beautiful B and Ry are off to Greece.  They have to get on a plane at 6.30am and some risk averse bright spark decided that you have to be at the airport a whole 2 hours before you board the plane in England.  Being a mum I decided that it would be cheaper to drive them to the airport and back rather than the cost of a taxi.  As it is an 11/2  hours away I will be driving the car at 4am with eyes that resemble those of the mass murderer from Scream.

My intention is to get home after 6am and go back to bed until mid-day.  Here's hoping my mind, body and fluffers let me do that.

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