Thursday, 20 December 2012

Tonsillitis with a shot of linear equations

Back in 2005 I got a job; to learn to be the nuttiest accountant in my department. Hubby and I got together just before I started to travel across the country each week to study accounting.  To get the job I jumped through all sorts of hoops including completing an on-line personality questionnaire with feedback (only I could make a trained psychologist laugh his head off), written and oral assignments and an hour long interview.  

During the interview the only 2 questions I can recall were:

"What do you think your biggest challenge will be?"

"Trying to get my daughter to realise that as I need to do 15 hours study a week that she should sit down with me and do her homework."

"You stated on your questionnaire that you had wanted to apply for the scheme before - why didn't you apply last year?"

"Previously A level mathematics was required.  I do not have that, purely because I am rubbish at algebra and trigonometry and lets face it, unless I decide to be an architect or simalar, when am I ever going to need it...."    

They roared laughing - at the time, I wondered why as I was just being truthful.  I got the job, I assume because they thought it would be fun to have a nutter on the scheme.

So skip to our first 2 weeks in accountancy training, bearing in mind they took us through the equivalent of all 4 years of AAT training in 6 months.  Initially 2 weeks in Liverpool with the weekend as a break.  The first week goes well, I am coping very well with the study and quite enjoying being in a hotel room with no cooking, cleaning or washing etc. My friend and study partner C laughed at finding flyers each morning slipped under the door advertising the local escort services.

Second week, Hubby phones me one day and asks me to meet him at the station.  I love that he just hopped on a train because he wanted to see me. Ignore that I have a sore throat and am feeling slightly under the weather - I'm suddenly feeling better!

The following day C and I laugh at my attempt to swallow Rice Crispies at breakfast.  Having found a smoothie station in the nearby shopping centre I am not overly concerned - I can get my nutients from that.  I lived on that for 3 days before I got home and to a GP who confirmed my first and only tonsillitis episode in 33 years.  

Anyhoo, later that day we are sat in a management accounting class, my friend C is a whizz and we are loving the class.  I am feeling worse for wear and although not in a bad mood just want to get back to the hotel for a lie down, when the tutor says:

"Today we are going to do linear equations."

My head shoots up and involuntarily I say (being common and all and from the north) and feeling ill, in my defence "Shit off!" - my mother has a lot to answer for!

"No Ribena, deadly serious."

C rubs her hands with glee and says "I LOVE linear equations!"

"Well, maybe you should be the nuttiest accountant in the Department then."

I obviously spoke too soon at that interview!

8 weeks later I still could not grasp linear equations.  Had that question come up in the exam I could have answered it by following the process by rote - to this day I still do not understand the concept.

Beautiful B has no hope with a mother like me.    

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