Wednesday, 13 June 2012

Semi-organised and semi-confused

…..can be a complete pain in the behind;

I am usually unable to switch off and relax very well, in fact; I drive Hubby mad because I am incapable of sitting anywhere for more than half an hour unless I am able to physically and mentally do something – even if it is 2 different things.  Though I must turn off for what is a short time because I do get some sleep. 

After waking 4 times on Monday night after a particularly angry stressful day at work I gave it up as a bad job (ribenaism) and got up at 3.30am. 

Before I returned upstairs at 5.30 am, doing the house-wifey bit by taking Hubby a cup of Cappuccino (no less…oooeerr get her!) in bed I had done the following:
§         made a batch of spaghetti bolognaise;
§         made a batch of chilli-con-carne;
§         all the washing up and dried it;
§         made the packed lunches;
§         weighed the girls dog food out (and yes it is a necessity*);
§         cleaned all the counters;
§         packed all my paperwork for the day; and
§         vick’d** the furniture (another ribenaism)

*  I am do not have OCD, well other than a very mild version but I have to weigh out the 3 girls dog food because otherwise the other peeps in the house seem to think that they are really golden retrievers and not tiny Bichons and before long I would be overrun (or rather over-weebled) with fat dogs.
** Baba fluff chews things, only when we are out because she is not totally stupid – after baba fluff damage on the rocking chair, carpets, doors, table corners (yes seriously, she led on the settee and chewed the corner of a table off!) and now corners of a new leather suite and trying bitter apple spray (liked that), chilli flakes (ignored that it should be distasteful and licked that off) we are now onto Vicks Vapour Rub; you know the foul smelling and even more foul tasting stuff you put on your chest to keep your nasal passages open……she keeps attempting it but so far she hasn’t overcome her aversion!
After thanking me for the coffee cappuccino the resulting conversation was, even I have to admit a bit of an eye opener:

Me:      “Something strange happened last night.”
Hubby: “mmmm”
(sport was on the TV, no more explanation is required)
Me:      “I don’t remember going to sleep.  I don’t remember more than 5 minutes into Grimm, let alone going to sleep.”
(it normally requires an hour of TV at least and a good few pages of a novel to knock me out, hence the not unreasonable and fantastic excuse to go and snuggle up under the covers at 9pm)
Hubby: “You said you were tired.”
(one eye on his coffee, one eye still on the TV – I should just be grateful he was semi-listening!)
Me:      “Yes, but I don’t remember turning the TV off or even removing my glasses and my phone wasn’t on the charger.”
(The light goes on for Hubby – either that or he figures I am not going to shut up and his half listening is going to be discovered any minute)
Hubby: “Well you didn’t have your glasses on but you hadn’t put your phone down.”
Me:      “Huh?”
(I’m not the most eloquent of people….)
Hubby: “In fact, you kind of looked like all you needed was a white chalk outline minus the blood which I can be eternally grateful for based on your normal literature choice. Your phone even looked like it had just fallen out of your hand.”
Me:       “Are you saying that I fell asleep while texting someone?”
Hubby: “That or smooching around your nosybooking site.”
Me:      “That is impossible!  How can I either be watching TV and/or texting/nosybooking without my glasses on; I am almost registered blind without the trusty assistance of glasses.”
Hubby:  “I gave up trying to work you out years ago.”
Me:      “I don’t believe you.”
Hubby: “Would I lie to you?”
Me:      “No, but we don’t have ghosts so if you didn’t remove my glasses then who did?  And why, pray tell, would my glasses be removed but my phone left to look as though I had spontaneously regained my sight?”
Hubby: “Maybe you took your glasses off but fell asleep between that and putting your phone down.”
Me:      “I would remember that surely!”
Hubby: “Would you?  Would you really?”
Me:      “…….”

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