Firstly, having left my mobile at home this morning I feel almost naked and my first priority was to get a message to Beautiful B that if she texted me, I wasn’t ignoring her. This begs the question were our parents more or less stressed at their child’s inability to contact them easily during the day? I’m thinking less; after all no texts with messages that begin with “Mum! I need, want…..” must mean reduced stress levels.
Anyhoo, Beautiful B is flying to Greece on Sunday morning with her boyfriend, Ry for a 2 week holiday and now we are only a few days away the questions are racheting up. Here’s evidence that she is off on holiday abroad, without me or another responsible adult (though Ry is responsible except where a car is involved), for the first time:
- Beautiful B has been ‘packing’ the biggest suitcase in human history for 2 weeks
- She is packing a fluffy dressing gown in case she ‘gets cold at night’! She is going to Greece for crying out loud; of course everything will be covered in ice as soon as the sky turns dark….
- She is packing slippers to go with the dressing gown
- Leggings in case it rains “because you can’t wear shorts in the rain” are also going – she pooh poohed my claim that it will still be very warm when it rains
- If I have heard about turtle watching once I have heard about it 30 times - I expect at least 100 photos of said turtles when she returns
- She is on an all-inclusive holiday but claimed she needed £500 in case they want to eat out. I am wondering if she thinks that the Greek economy is ready to collapse to.
- Being sensible she is putting her money on a debit-card like card to reduce the risk of her losing physical money. I asked her what happens if she loses the card. Said conversation happened:
BB: I have a number to ring
Me: What happens then?
BB: I assume they give you the money you had left in the account
Me: How, another card? Who do you get the money from; a bank or the holiday rep?
BB: Ermmmmm, I will ring the holiday company tomorrow.
- She hopes the laundry will not be too expensive seen as she would have to wash her swimming costume every day. I advised her she needed do no such thing; wash it in the room and hang it on the balcony to dry….
- On WIFI discussion; she “knew about the little bars on her phone” but didn’t know how to turn of data roaming; luckily her mum does. She expects free WIFI in her room, I put her straight and told her she may spend more time than she is expecting in hotel reception
- ‘How will I speak to you?’ was the question when I told her she shouldn’t text me every day and definitely not call because it will be expensive. ‘But I will miss you’ – my response; ‘don’t be daft – I am supposed to miss you; not the other way round’.
- Freddy fluff is apparently going to die while she is away and Baba Fluff might as she is crying all the time (in protest at being taken away from her mother overnight a couple of weeks ago I suspect). ‘You will call me if one of them dies won’t you?’ – yes of course, ahem……
- She is going to cry on the Saturday night because she will miss the dogs
- She flies at 6.45am; needs to be there at 4.45am (English airplane companies being over-cautious), but she wanted to get there earlier ‘just in case’.
- Informing her we would set off no earlier than 3.45am (because of course, I am stupid and offered to drive her there) she said ‘maybe we should set off earlier in case there is traffic’ – it is the middle of the night! How much traffic does she think there is going to be?!
- Update: I knew it was wrong to allow her near a phone! Now she has rung the airport and discovered check in opens 3 hours before the flight so now I have to take her at 2.45am to get her there when check out opens because "she and Ry will only worry if I don't" - I am far too soft for my own good!
And the list goes on….eventually I told her to shush now so I could go back to Bizarre ER on the TV. She cuddled up and watched it with me until the first accident caused by a stupid person in control of a chain saw (which was a mild injury when taking said chainsaw ino account) made her feet hurt because of all the blood and she hid her face. Yes, she is a nurse and no I agree she will never work in Accident & Emergency (ER in the US) or theatre…….Oh and yes she is weird and her feet hurt if she sees blood and gore.