Friday, 19 August 2011


Mmmmmm - this was scheduled to be posted on the 19th of August and something went wrong........

6 years ago today we were friends. 6 years ago we were colleagues. 6 months before that I had been your line manager at work; in the 6 months that I moved to another team our friendship and respect for each other grew. I started to come out of my shell and you liked my sense of humour (you refer to that time as noticing that I was nuts); I saw more of yours as our friendship grew.

6 years ago yesterday you sat with me and the rest of our team and watched me drink 8 vodka, lime and lemonades in less than 2 hours and I am sure your respect for me grew later that afternoon when I delivered a 2 hour training course without slurring one word or even hiccupping…I wanted to continue celebrating my imminent departure from the team to start my career as an accountant, you offered to look after accompany me and make sure I got home safe. 

We put the world to rights for 3 hours in the pub and I felt bad that you had missed dinner so invited you to join Beautiful B and I for a late supper. Wanting to make sure I got home without falling over safe Feeling flattered or hungry you accepted the invitation. Little did you know that an 11 year old girl was about to give you the grilling of your life and before you went home 2 hours later she knew everything about you, even if she didn’t believe that your mum was as old as you said she was – after all 71 year old women do not have 32 year old children…..

6 years ago tonight we surprised ourselves by becoming a couple. Had someone told us not 2 days before that it was going to happen we would have laughed hysterically; after all we were friends with no sign of a romance. Looking back some might argue that allowing yourself to be interrogated by an 11 year old the night before was a sign that a relationship was to follow but as ever I was oblivious to the fact that any man might like me.

It took you nearly 12 months after that night to tell me that for the first 2 weeks you were unsure if the relationship would turn serious.  Not because Beautiful B and I came as a package but that you were unsure if you could cope with the two (then) baby fluffs as all they did was bark. I am thankful every day that you persevered…. You stayed with me knowing that you would be unlikely to have children of your own because of how difficult it would be to conceive and I adore you for that.

In the 6 years we have been together you have turned my world around. Beautiful B and I were happy and content; we weren’t looking for a relationship and maybe that is why you found us when you did. I am grateful that we were friends before we started a relationship because on that grounding we have continued to strengthen our togetherness every day.

You always have and always will accept me for who and what I am. You do not try and change me, you accept what has happened to me before and how it shaped me into who I am today and you compensate for others failings. You have worked incredibly hard to build up the confidence that was knocked out of me by the previous 2 husbands and you take great delight in seeing that confidence grow. Because of you, I am more confident around strangers and make friends easier than ever before and I have learnt not to continually analyse what people say….mostly.

You consider Beautiful B to be yours and you get angry at the way she is treated by others. You love her as you would your own and you have helped to shape her into the young beautiful empathetic person she is today. You have been there to hold her hand and hug her when she has needed someone other than me to talk to; you have been there when she was younger reasoning with her to teach her how to think of others; you have been there to show her how a a father should treat his daughter and so much more.  You are her dad in your eyes and although Beautiful B loves her father she also loves you as her stepdad. You take the dad role very seriously and we love you unconditionally for that.

You love me unconditionally and I do not question that because I know you do - I see it every time you look at me; in the way you talk to me; in how gently you treat me and in how well you care for me. I know that you know that I feel and treat you the same way and because of that we are both so content and happy in our relationship.

Bad things happened to you to put you on the path to meeting me. I can never take that away or the pain you still feel at losing your dad but hopefully I soothe that pain and help in small ways every day. I will marry you one day….as soon as we can afford the dress, honeymoon and evening reception to celebrate with friends and of course you need time to prepare for standing in front of a camera and smiling instead of hiding your face…..

Happy Anniversary darling… are my world and I will love you until all the stars fall out of the sky.

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