Emails, insurance claims, male bodies and garden furniture

My first day back at work and I returned to 102 emails which is half of what I was expecting so a good start to the day.

Prioritising, and lets just be clear that is prioritising for my benefit which does not necessarily provide a benefit for my company, I was able to delete 55 emails in the first hour simply by perusing through and deleting random circulars and far too many emails on job alerts and determining that I did not fancy travelling 500 – 600 miles a day. 

There was one job approximately 15 miles away from home but I figured that I probably couldn’t wing pretending to be a trained psychologist and even if I could I would probably be the one put in a straight jacket by the end of the week.  After all, I am sure that someone who jokes that she has little aliens in her head that provide her energy by bouncing around like rubber balls probably isn’t the best person for the job.

The rest of them look scary in the main so I was hoping that at least some of them were emails chains to which my boss has responded too.  All I can say is that it is a good job I came into work for 7am and intend on working until 8pm or so.  I lucked out as at least some of them were and it is now lunch time and I have 11 of my own emails left to look at, then I start on my bosses.  Of course, me being me, I have left the most difficult to last and my bosses are always more difficult than my own.

I have another long day tomorrow as I cannot come into work on Friday.  I have a 5 hour appointment with a furniture restorer after Abi fluff decided that it was fun to not only teethe on a spindle of a rocking chair but 3 different areas of the brand new leather 3 piece suite.  Some would argue that the suite is my fault; after all, it isn’t the cleverest idea to buy it just as she was being born.

As Abi fluff doesn’t do anything by halves she chewed a little on one chair, then decided she was bored with that bit and moved to another before moving onto the third chair.  Of course, during the initial damage assessment with the insurance company she sat on my knee as good as gold and looking as though butter wouldn’t melt.  She was obviously on some kind of charm offensive.

As much as two 13 hour days seems a little mental, Friday at home gives me another day to, you guessed it, do some football accounts because I did not get any done on Tuesday as I suspected.  By the time I finished chasing my tail with my many appointments it was time to collect Hubby from work.  Knowing 2 long work days were in order I decided Iron Man 3 was in order that night; Hubby was exhausted and while I munched my way through some nachos and salsa he slept - for 11 hours straight; well, obviously I was home and sleeping too at some stage; eating nachos for 11 hours would just be greedy! 

It was a great film but I have to admit I am a little bit biased.  Being based on Marvel comics it has to be big and brash and totally unbelievable so is just the kind of thing I like (and Hubby hates) having grown up with Spiderman, Superman, and lets not forget Captain Cavemaaaaaannnnnnn. 

I have a soft spot for Robert Downey Junior, you know him being kind of cute and all; who was supported by Guy Pearce’s very nice chest which was a very nice bonus. In fact, Robert is a bit like a fine wine (if we ignore the fact that I think all wine tastes awful) and he gets better with age.

See now, that has got me thinking about my list.  My list of 5; which if I recall correctly, Rachel can name her 5 right of the bat while I am still very much indecisive.  I am beginning to think that Robert may well make that list but only if he was amusing in reality because that is half of the appeal.

I have just sent Hubby 2 emails as I am perusing (again, I am multi-tasking you see – there should be an award for it) garden furniture and trying to convince him that a) Rattan furniture is worth the added additional outlay as it will last for YEARS and b) it really isn’t as uncomfortable as it looks. 

I’ve also seen a very nice rattan sun lounger which I would be willing to give up the garden glider for…….

Shoooooeeeees

I'm not completely obsessed; honestly.  Some might disagree but even I will refuse to buy shoes that cost more than £100. I do, however, currently own over 25 pairs of shoes some of which are in boxes because they deserve better homes.

While in Newcastle last year I was minding my own business walking back to the hotel from the Metro.  I don't like window shopping; what is the point if you have no money to spend?  However, I do randomly look in shop windows if I pass a shop I like.  I happened across Dune this particular day. 

I like this shop because it sells shoes.  Years ago when I first started studying accountancy I studied in Liverpool and shocked a saleswoman in Dune when undecided about 2 pairs of red shoes.  Not being able to afford both she asked what occassion they were for.  I looked at her like she had just appeared from another planet and said "They are for work" at which point she looked at me in horror.  Oh the shame, wearing Dune shoes for a normal work day!

Anyhoo, I digress.  Back to the Dune shop that I wasn't window shopping in when I walked past.  Having drawn my eye I then sent two pictures from my mobile home to Hubby and Beautiful B - viola!

Hubby responded immediately expressing his utter disgust at the second pair.  Of course, these were the ones i preferred.  After all, there is nothing better than a pair of beautiful shoes to brighten up the most boring suit on a work day.

I couldn't afford the shoes anyway but a discussion commenced about how they would go with different coloured suits, tops etc; I am guessing none of which mattered to Hubby seen as his work attire consists of a pair of jeans and a polo shirt.

Fast forward to Christmas and Beautiful B and Ry presented me with a few presents one of which was a shoe sized box.  On opening them out popped the zebra shoes.  I was ecstatic.

Only....they were too big. Having looked at my shoe size Beautiful B had ordered a size bigger and no matter what I tried I couldn't carry them off in the bigger size without risking blisters and my foot falling out.  Unfortunately, when trying to exchange for a smaller size of course they did not have the size required.

Dune were very good and sent a gift voucher which I had great fun spending during a recent work trip.  What better way to spice up a work trip for a meeting than shoe shopping!

I came home with these.  You can only imagine what Hubby thinks of them so I will let your imagination run away with you.  He is convinced I am going to break my neck wearing them.  Beautiful B likes them. I love them and shoes are the one area where I tend to ignore Hubby's opinion. 
 

So thank you, Beautiful B for my lastest beautiful shoes.  I think these deserve a special box to live in too.








 

Why hubby chooses to let me shop alone

Yesterday I was tagged in a "article" on facebook titled "Why one wife now chooses to shop alone" - I found it so amusing I promptly sent it to all my friends.  Hubby responded to the article adding his own comments (in red) along the way, as follows:

Here's proof of what can happen when a highly excitable woman drags her highly disinterested husband or boyfriend along when shopping.  This letter was sent by a British hypermart to a customer in Oxford Blackpool:

Dear Mrs Murray Mr Hubby,

While we thank you for your valued patronage and use of our store loyalty card, the manager of our store is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics paying you for your almost wife's entertainment value.  Below is a list of just some of the offences over the past few months, all verified by our surveillance cameras:
1.  15 June: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.
Granted you haven't done this but you have, on my behalf, removed all Kenco cappuchino boxes off the shelf when half price and when other shoppers look at you strangely start to pet the boxes saying "My precious...."
2.  2 July: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at five-minute intervals
Set ALL musical Christmas/Easter/Halloween teddies off and then danced to whatever song they are singing.
3.  14 Aug: Moved a "Caution - Wet floor" sign to a carpeted area
Required a "Caution - Wet floor" sign and went to find a mop after deciding it was appropriate to accidently knock over a jar of Lime jam off the shelf in order to get to the Lime and Lemon jam (and yes, I now accept that was wholly my fault because I only like the Lime and Lemon jam.....)
4.  4 Oct:  Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror to pick his nose Blew kisses to the security men and check out staff "because it is Christmas".
5.  3 Dec: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
No!  But you frequently sing the Spiderman song but only parts of it because you cannot remember it all "Spidyman, Spidyman, does whatever a spidyman can, spins a web, dududu, du du dudu du du dudu" Then loudly "LOOK OUT, HERE COMES A SPIDYMAN" before going on with your shopping as though everything is normal.
6.  18 Dec: Hid in a clothing rack and yelled "Pick me, Pick me!"
7.  23 Dec: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, then yelled very loudly: 'There is no toilet paper in here.'
8.    Christmas Time: Sang and danced your way round the aisles to the Christmas music and then asked why Beautiful B and I laughing at you, having had no idea that you were doing it in the first place.
9.    Provided a customer suggestion that Christmas music be played all year round "because it makes people happier".
10.  Being accident prone, on at least 8-10 occassions every shopping trip will randomly let out "MEOW" like a cat at various volumes when you bang the trolley into something, drop something, narrowly miss the other poor folks with your wobbly wheeled trolley or when you see others being accident prone.  The more excitable you are, the louder you are.
11.  Think nothing of getting far too excitable at the check outs when packing things away "like only you can, because it is a woman thing" when in fact, it's not, its a Ribena thing.

.....but I wouldn't have you any other way sweetheart

Yours sincerely
Store Manager

In my defence, I may entertain myself regularly and frequently I do not realise I am doing it but surely we can agree that I am not as bad as this poor womans husband......

Boxes and more boxes

So..... I have a hubby who would let me have anything I wanted. I love shoes. Truly. When we met I had the old fashioned thing called money. Well, not a lot of it, come to think about it more that I didn't agonise so much as I do now when buying non essentials....like shoes...and more shoes.

Some shoes were what I considered expensive so they were loving kept in their cardboard boxes when not being worn. They hankered after a better home; a step up from their starter homes. Its taken me 5 years; after all I baulk at paying the same high prices for shoes as I did 5 years ago. Hubby would argue that I don't need more shoes. Bearing in mind that I have moved 15 pairs up in the world of real estate for shoes and estimate I still need another 25 boxes even I have to think about conceding that argument......

Beautiful B thinks I am a bit nuts, Hubby has reduced me to tears previously teasing me about selling my shoes on eBay as I never wear them.  My defence that they were "expensive" shoes and therefore not worn every day didn't really wash with him.  My friend K rushed to my defence, even though she understands the need for lots of shoes regardless of whether they are worn often and knew he was joking; I wasn't sure but even I admit I did not think the idea of losing shoes to someone else would make me so tearful.

I always thought that no matter how much weight a person puts on the shoes would always be there.  Ooooh how wrong I was. Turns out feet can get fat too (yes I know - Duh!).  Now that I have been on a mission to halve my body weight the shoes are so much more comfortable - all things being relative - and are making appearances. 

The number of times the conversation has gone like this in recent weeks:

"Are they new shoes?"

"Nope." 

"Are you sure?"

"Yep - these are older than our relationship darling."

Hubby refrains from commenting on whether they are pretty or not - apparently "shoes are shoes".  Good job that there are people at work that appreciate their beautifulness.....

Mind you, I shouldn't be suprised - Hubby rarely notices the attire - now don't be rude.  If we are off out and I dare to make an effort that is more than the usual jeans and a top or more often gym trousers and a top he comments on my face and hair rather than my clothes.  One could argue that there is no need, therefore, to spend a fortune on a wedding dress because I doubt that he will take much notice let alone be able to describe it in any way, shape or form the day after - I am, obviously, ignoring that argument......

......as I am ignoring the argument that the evening reception would be so much better if it was held in the works social club because the room has just been decorated, the room hire is cheap and the beer is cheaper than anywhere else.......because well, IT'S LOCATED AT WORK.

Now how did this post get onto weddings......

....ahhh but it would be a good excuse to add wedding shoes to the collection.

Who knew.....2000 steps

So Friday night, a late one watching the latest and last Harry Potter instalment and then 4 hours sleep to get up for the Next sale.  So, I rolled on up at 5 minutes to 5 a.m. because I may be mad but not enough to queue for a huge amount of time before the shop opened. 

I parked the car outside the store and saw a burger van - never a good sign if someone thinks they can made a fortune selling burgers to women at 5 a.m. in a morning...then I saw the queue, which stretched all the way past Next, the store next to it, down the stairs and all the way past Tesco - should have parked my car 300 metres away!

I had a nice chat with a woman whose husband had come in at silly o'clock in the morning from fighting crime to wake her up to buy trousers for her son.  If only I had an equally virtuous reason.

I thought I would queue for ages but they had obviously been to Florida and taken some pointers from Disney in how to disperse queues of people because we only had to wait 10 minutes.  At least they were nice enough to give us HUGE bags to put all our clothes in.

Being uninitiated but not totally stupid I decided to buy the clothes without trying them on and take back what I didn't want to keep - little had I realised that they don't even open the changing rooms for you to try clothes on.

So I shopped and where possible bought 2 different sizes (a whole 4 and 5 sizes smaller than I used to be - whoop, but then I might just have been hopeful) and in petite sizes to save on the alteration cost, seen as I am a short ass, an' all.

I had 3 HUGE bags at one point and my hands hurt and I was debating if I needed 4 pairs of new shoes to add to the 40 pairs I already had - hubby would be proud, I put one pair back...

.....and so who knew that I could spend £380 in less than an hour (don't worry, over 1/2 is going back for a refund now I have completed the requisite fashion show for hubby) and who knew that you could complete 2000 steps in a sale!  We should have them more often! 

I went home, fluff bags went mental as the car drew up as normal, hubby got up to calm them down to avoid angry neighbours - after all, it was just after 6 a.m. and so I took hubby back to the sale and we spent another £180 in 30 minutes. 

....and yes, he has kept more of his choices than I but then again he didn't buy 2 of everything in different sizes.

Would I do it again?  Not for every sale but I have to admit come the Next sale for their Autumn/Winter range I will be there queuing up again because lets face it, I may need smaller sizes again by that time.....