Not that I am.....

stressed or anything but this looks appealing right now!  Oh and let's not forget it is Tired Thursday.  Yes I have been travelling again and I am almost sure that I am still recovering from a big drinking session on Saturday for the Grand National horse race.  That is what aging does to you - be warned.  No longer can I spring out of bed at noon after sleeping off a hangover and look as spritely as I did the day before.

I have a procurement where different stakeholders will not compromise with a Commercial Board meeting at 4pm and not much of an idea what to do.  I do need to get something sorted today but it is very unlikely and that is just plain depressing. So the lack of a compromise and the digging in of heels makes me want to tear my hair out.  This is why I didn't have more than 1 child!

In addition, I support on another procurement which is MASSIVE and that is about seriously ramp up.  I have been asked to upskill another team member who is new to the team and when I read that request I almost choked on my pepsi max because I have almost as little experience as he has.  The blind leading the blind springs to mind

So today, I am not sure where to start as I seem to be chasing my tail and not really getting anywhere.  If nothing else, I know how Freddy feels when he chases his tail and achieves nothing.

So, I am going to take a leaf out of Rachel's book and make a list and try and stick to it, hoping to avoid anything else jumping the queue unexpectedly.

As an aside the fact that I work from home and Hubby is at home watching The Masters only makes me want to take a day off and spend it with him reading a really good book.

I really should stop going into WH Smith when at a train station because I always decide to 'window shop' books and come away having bought at least 1.  Yesterday I bought 2 and have read half of one on the journey home.   It is that good I want to lie in bed and read the rest.....

Well, thanks for your advice Rachel, given to me a long time ago, I am going to see if it works for me today and if not then I want coaching tips over cocktails on Friday night!

Tired Thursday…..a day late

After my first non-working day (testing a different working pattern) on Wednesday, which was fabulous as was the Tuesday because I knew I would be off on the Wednesday, I returned to work on Thursday raring to go.  Pity then that I never got to go or at least that is what it felt like.

Having said that I had a great time as my boss’s boss, who is based half way up the country travelled to see me for our usual monthly face-to-face get together.  Not literally face-to-face because how would we get anything done? I enjoy these visits because she is very down to earth, isn’t afraid to admit her work insecurities and is a genuinely nice person.  

Having suggested a formal work plan for the team I’ve had to put a lot of work into ‘additional’ activities to set it all up for the team and so time is needed each visit to go through it and generally add things to it!  What with that, joke telling, discussions around date nights and babies 5pm had arrived and I only had 2½ hours to go before I was OUTTA THERE!. 

A fly on the wall would have watched me jiggle around in my seat for the next 2½ hours in excitement because I was visiting Angel straight after work.  We haven’t physically met up for 3 weeks as we have both been flitting around like butterflies and quite frankly quick texts and emails just ain’t going to cut it because I am very demanding and get withdrawal symptoms if I don’t see my best friends often enough.

I mean, quite frankly, it’s bad enough that my best friend Rachel has deemed it necessary to go on holiday with her family, abroad no less, to somewhere that is likely to have intermittent WIFI unless you are willing to chop off a leg or donate a kidney to pay for the fees they charge.  It has to be the cost because I am sure that if it weren’t for that she would deem it much more important to chat to me via email than spend time with her beloved family.  After all, who is she going to discuss all things related to OCDishness with if not me?

Angel greeted me at the door in her PJs and a lack of direction to her hair and still, as ever, managed to look gorgeous.  Having been out for a run and returned home wet enough to wring a full jug of water from her person as the heavens had dumped a weeks worth of rain on her, her Hubby looked at her as though she had gone mad as she passed him on the way to the shower.  Don’t you just love it when you can slob around in PJs in front of your best friends and know they just don’t care?  I sat there admiring the dressing gown, after all, I did purchase it for her one Christmas and I do have such good taste.

As usual, we put the world to rights and she had me in hysterics.  Besides having a wonderful story telling ability I couldn't help but laugh at the mental picture of Angel screaming so loud at the cinema, when watching a horror film with her hubby, that she scared another woman enough to make her drop her popcorn. 

I arrived home at 11pm to Hubby falling asleep.  Having a day off work and doing some ironing he had obviously tired himself out.  Seen as he deemed it more important to snore than catch up on the day with me I watched an episode of Bizarre ER which was not that bizarre to be fair before falling asleep and leaving the Sky machine to turn itself onto standby.

My unconscious mind pricked me awake at just before 5am.  See!  Even when asleep my little aliens still whirls those little motors to move thoughts in and out of their filing cupboards (obviously organised by year, category and level of importance).  There is probably a little alien walking around with a little clipboard, pen and paper on which they are frantically adding things to do, randomly telling people to pull things out of cabinets and then happily checking of each task as it is complete....as long as they remember to look at the list.  In fact, maybe it is not my fault that I forget to update or check my list - maybe, it is the symptom of a forgetful alien! 

It is no wonder I wake up tired.  They were obviously reminding me that I hadn’t set the alarm which begs the question do I actually need an alarm? 

I must sleep on a motion sensor that electrocutes Hubby when it senses I have risen from the bed because he woke up and despite having another day off work (for golf watching of all things) the beautiful man got out of bed and made my lunch before convincing me I needed another hour in bed before getting ready for work.  He is either very thoughtful or I looked so scary that he thought only another hour would reduce eye bags big enough to scare even the bravest person at work.

Waking much more refreshed at 6.15am, I was in work before 7am; I’m not even going to attempt to discuss what my hair looks like or why I have deemed that a Friday means foundation is not needed but still I am here if as not raring to go as yesterday. 

So I’m here for another long day.  I have to catch up the work that I could not get to yesterday.  I must make up flexible working hours to support the different working pattern I want so I can blitz the house mid-week.  Another 7am-7pm work day for me. 2 long days back to back – oooh get me!

I’m quite wide awake at the moment; one would hope that would be the case seen as it is lunch time and I have only been here 5 hours.  I would wager at least 10p on the fact that I will feel super tired by 2pm having eaten lunch. 

There is no hope of me having a earlier finish than 7pm tonight though.  Besides the obvious devotion to my job I have also deemed it necessary to book the last 2 weeks of May on annual leave.  After all, Beautiful B is off on a romantic holiday with Ry to Greece and a quiet household could be the perfect opportunity for some 'me' time. 

Note I said ‘opportunity’ and not ‘destination’.  That would be because as well as the additional benefits of sun, sea, sand, endless cocktails, food, sunsets and sunrises in the Maldives I would at least relax in the Maldives.  Hubby has it in his head that I won’t relax at home and will find every opportunity to find a job that needs doing.  He is of course wrong!  I am not, in any way, already thinking about buying exterior paint to paint the concrete panels under the fence to match the garden wall, nor hack down the tidy up the triffids hedges in the front garden…..

At the moment, I’m rather confident that I can ensure that the work I normally clear within 4 weeks can be done in ½ the time in preparation for my holiday at home.  One may wonder though whether that confidence is linked to how wide awake I am feeling at any given time.  Maybe by 5pm I will be crying into my Coca Cola can begging for a drop more energy from it’s caramel lovliness.

I am hoping that Hubby is going to continue his housewife type behaviour today and have my tea ready on the table when I get home.  He may have to prevent me from falling asleep in my gammon steak and chips or maybe he will prop my head up on a spatula so as to prevent the need for a shower to wash the sqished peas from my hair.  He may well just have to cut out the middle man and escort me upstairs, put me to bed and, having used a blender to the best of it’s ability, intravenously feed me my tea through a plastic tube while I snore all ladylike in bed.

 

Back to Thursday

So yesterday was Thursday.  Yes, I know you know, I frequently state the obvious. 

Thursdays are the new days for exhaustion apparently.  Dragging myself out of bed, in retrospect, seems like a waste of time as I was little more than useless at work yesterday.  It felt like wading through mud....with concrete blocks on my feet......which were chained to a wall.

So yet again, for the second week in a row I took myself off home as soon after 3pm would allow, bearing in mind that this wonderful governmentally security system takes 5 minutes to log my computer of.  Poor Hubby didn't even get a kiss hello yesterday as I walked through the door and immediately upstairs with only an "I love you" over my shoulder.

My brain was still able to make some informed choices however when Hubby asked "What time should I wake you?"   Sleeping for 2-3 hours only to be woken for dinner would likely result in me being awake at stupid o'clock, unable to sleep and trying to read a story on my iPhone under the covers so the light did not wake Hubby.  So, I stayed awake to watch Greys, Grimm and then Alcatraz before giving into the tiredness.

Granted I had to keep re-winding programmes every time I realised that I had nodded off.  After a power nap of what must have been only 5 minutes I managed to watch all but the first 2 minutes of Alcatraz without having to hit the rewind button.

Then I slept, and I slept all night which peeps is absolutely amazing for me at the moment.  I may have felt more awake when the alarm, otherwise known as Baba fluff, woke me at 4.30 am but it was still almost as hard to drag myself out of bed to come to work.

This week is Cheltenham Races week.  Hubby ALWAYS takes the week off and sits glued to the TV with the little race slips shouting "Come on, Come on, move it" at the TV - I don't know why he bothers - you can guarantee if he bet on it that horse ain't winning. 

There is some male excuse in there as to why he has been unable to do any housework because I am not counting keeping the kitchen clean because 1, you should do anyway and 2, he's eaten fast food every day so exactly what was there to keep clean.....

I don't know who I am kidding, there is only a woman able to take time off for say the Olympics and still manage to watch that and clean the house at the same time.

Today is Gold Cup day.....another day of racing but apparently extra special for a reason I can neither fathom or find the energy to care about.  Suffice to say, Hubby goes to the pub with my brother-in-law C, technically he is an ex brother-in-law but I always thought of him as a brother and always will; he is awesome and could be Hubby's twin in both personality and looks.  Gold cup day is expensive, they spend more on betting let alone the food and above all else beer.

Hubby asked me this morning if I want to meet them at the pub.  I could meet 
a, whom C left my sister for - that sounds awful but to be honest he left her for more than A, A was a symptom not the cause.  I have never met her before, having blamed both of them for nearly 2 years for my sisters unhappiness.  However, it is not in me to hate, I missed C and I began to see that my sisters unhappiness is her own undoing and when she realises she causes her own unhappiness she may start to turn a corner.....  Anyhoo, I would meet M which is probably an idea because I intend on inviting both to my 40th birthday bash. 

The only problem is that I don't know whether I have the energy to bother going.  There is cleaning to do and Hubby is working tomorrow so not there to help me and the lack of cleaning this week, through his race watching and my tiredness, is now beginning to drive me a bit bonkers and the aliens in my head are crying and bashing their heads against the insides of my eyeballs.....

.....Hubby would argue that when I am tired and feeling low (suffice to say the witch, she who must not be named, has been causing all sorts of issues this week and whilst outwardly I refuse to give her the satisfaction of seeing me upset and hiding the latest instalment from Beautiful B because she is very fragile at the minute I am obviously letting it affect me) it is the most important time to go out and spend time with people.  He is right, he made me go and see one of my bestest R last week and it did me the world of good.

I am so very tired though...... I could go out for a couple of drinks and then come home and crash into bed again ready for tomorrow. 

So until the long-term ramifications of major surgery decide to start waning, and I really really didn't expect to get so tired after 3 days of working 13 weeks into recovery from the operation, Thursday will be otherwise known as Tired Thursday and today and every other Friday will be Fatigue Friday....