On Wednesday night I innocently went to Tesco to change Beautiful
B’s sky remote. I
figured I would have a mooch around the store while I was there fully expecting
to spend on books. There is a stand for
newspapers in front of the entrance and newspapers are fixed on the side of the
stand so you can read the headlines as you walk into the store.
One of the newspapers read something along the lines of “…….for the b*)$a%d who stabbed me 27 times” –
replace the asterisks with letters as it was spelt out in full.
Now I am not a prude, ask any of my friends they will tell
you but I was stunned, so much so that I cannot remember what the first part of
the headline was.
When I was a child you didn’t hear any swear words on TV
before the 9pm watershed. I desperately wanted to see the film Gremlins
at 12 but couldn’t because it had a 15 certificate. I may have looked 15 but I wasn’t going to
risk the wrath of my parents by breaking the law. No PG film had a swear word in, not even ‘bloody’.
Over time, ‘bloody’ appeared in programmes before the
watershed and a certificate 12 was introduced into the British film industry to
allow some swearing (and occasionally ‘brief nudity). This enabled more revenue for the film that
younger teenagers wanted to see but weren’t able with the 15 certificate.
Now, ‘bloody’ and worse appear in PG films and I have long
thought it a shame that we live in a society where it is acceptable to use such
language in front of a child let alone in a film. That word and worse are regularly used in TV before
the watershed and essentially the only programmes safe for children to watch
are those for very young children.
I’m not saying that I don’t swear, I do and I have slipped
up in front of Beautiful B more than a time or
two which serves me right for swearing in the first place. I am not proud of that fact; after all what
example am I setting for my child? Not a
very good one.
I am not that much of a prude or blinkered enough to think
that children do not swear in school; after all I am sure I swore like a
trooper! Though I didn’t dare home.
My sister was once bugging me in the kitchen. Mum was busy making pies or similar and I’m
arguing with my sister telling her she was bugging me and to leave me
alone. I said at one stage “Stop bugging
me, you are a little bugger” using ‘bugger’ as a descriptive word. Mum swung round and asked me 3 times what I
had just said and each time I replied innocently “She is a little bugger.” Being cocky, each time I replied I moved
closer to my mum until it suddenly dawned on me that mum was repeating the
question to get me to think about why she was asking and that the word must be
a swear word when I hadn’t meant it that way.
What shocked me on Wednesday was the ‘level’ of the swear
word and the fact that it was contained in a newspaper headline for all to
see. Surely using that word as a
headline in a major newspaper sends our children the message that the word is
perfectly acceptable to use in society and normal conversation?
When I was 23 my sister swore in front of my mum and I
nearly fell off the chair in shock at my mum not reacting reminding my mum that
had I used that language 3-4 years ago I’d have got more than I bargained for.
Today, Beautiful B would
not dare swear in front of me or at me.
She has only swore at me in temper once, over 5 years ago, and she was
confined to the house for 3 weeks as punishment for it despite me knowing that
she hadn’t meant to say it.
Beautiful B has far too
much respect to swear at me or in front of me.
She might swear away from home but she knows that it is not acceptable
and so doesn’t use it at home. She grew
up being taught that swear words were disrespectful and she has never used them
in front of adults.
However, if as a society we are willing to allow such
language to be used as a headline in a newspaper; even if that newspaper is a
tabloid what are we teaching our children?
Surely we are teaching them that it is acceptable. By allowing it in general media they are
surrounded by it on TV and in newspapers and surely over time it will become perfectly
acceptable to use such language in day to day conversations.
I accept that society has to move with the times, there are
many things that I am grateful for as I have grown older (mainly my iPhone and
iPad) and I fully endorse change and relish it as part of my working life. I cannot see, however, how allowing swear
words to become part of normal society can be useful for individuals or good
for the country as a whole.
Over time, at what stage does a swear word move from being a
normal part of language to being derogatory?
What sort of image would a person portray if that sort of language was
part of general conversation and how does it show any sort of respect to your
family, friends, peers and elders?
I am getting old, I will admit it. I dread getting on a bus and having to listen
to the language that our children use in public, yet I used to be one of
them. They think it makes them look good
when in fact they sound awful and disrespectful. I still swear and yes, it is wrong and
something that I must curb more than I do and I am not pleased with myself for
using such language.
Yes, the man who stabbed the woman in the article 27 times
was clearly a disturbed and nasty individual and deserved whatever prison sentence
he was given but surely there are better ways of describing him that by using a
swear word.
The move to such language being acceptable in mainstream
media has happened in 30 years; I can only imagine what it will be like in
another 30 years and as old as this makes me sound I worry for our society; I
really do.
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